Silence No More: A Black Man's Quest for Intimacy

This manual addresses male intimacy issues that are often felt but seldom verbalized.  Some are married, some are fathers, but in some regards most of us can relate to this quest for intimacy.  I wrote this manual because I could sense something missing in my life.  Here I am with an amazing wife and a darling little boy, yet I had a yearning for something more, but I could not place my finger on what I was yearning for.  I knew that whatever it was I had to have it.  True to the scriptural passage:  “Seek and you shall find”, I began my journey to search out for something that neither my wife nor my child could give me.  And though I was growing into what I thought was a deep and personal relationship with Christ, I struggled to find significant meaning and passion in life.  As I began this journey, it started with a conversation with a friend who had some similar problems.  Although his road was quite different than mine, he was able to lead me to a book that he said changed his life forever.  That book is: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D.  This book gave me the much-needed guidance and led me to seek out personal counseling with a phenomenal therapist.  As my therapist and I spent several hours of individual counseling unraveling my “stuff”, the picture called my life and my thought process was becoming clearer to me than ever before.   Now here I was in the crossroads of life.  Which way do I go?  Do I take the road less traveled leading to truth, and inevitably pain, or do I let go of this desire for more and go through the motions as most of us do.  If so I probably could live a quote unquote-successful life.  But would I really be happy?  Could I honestly think about living out the remainder of my life with no passion and not experience love and happiness.  For me the choice was already made for me because I knew that quite frankly I was already dead.  No passion, little energy and full of disappointment and anger.  For me it was not a choice of a better existence, it was a choice to exist.  In the following chapters I will attempt to take you on a journey, a quest to finding intimacy; finding happiness.  But more importantly I hope that this manual helps you find what you’ve been looking for all of your life: You!