ONE LIFE SO MANY DREAMS

FIRE AND ICE

I’m on a mission, I need you to listen wanna tell you about my life, feel my story filled with fire and ice, filled with a brother wanting to do right. But want never follows the right track, missing any kind of direction, starving for knowledge wanting affection. Just wanting to keep my shit together, reality was talking never.

I’m walking I just feel I could do better I just want to roll and spread some cheddar. But here comes sex and sin complicating shit crossing my eyes making my knees bend. But then again that’s what I wanted, no shame in my game I never fronted, thought I was macking, thought I was the shit I was what was happening. Only in my mind if you too sleepwalk you too will find life is a cycle and I was riding high. My life was passing me by. Quick through life means quick to die close you bag up zip goodbye.  But this is my life so don’t cry for me, just try like me to live and be happy. Jealous fools want let peace be, then there’s chance and the wrong opportunity. My life’s cycle is down more misery. Fuck that I don’t need the company but that’s the fire and ice in life and that’s how life be.

A Night Time Episode

Here I go again, another day I feel my flow no way I know what this day will bring will I suffer or discover, a new enemy or a brand new lover, maybe this time we’ll be right for one another. But in the meantime I find I gotta deal with this brother, I apologized but that’s as far as I can go. It ain’t about right or wrong I just don’t want you to wreck my flow. I was hoping he’d just let this shit go, he said no. I’m a grown man so fool I’m not the one I’m a black man and I never learn to run. True to form this fool pull out a gun. I thought quickly this mans someone’s brother he’s someone’s son. I was just kicking it wanting to have some fun. Now it’s either a case or a final resting place this fool made me pick one; but I too am a father, a brother and someone’s son. I knew this day was trouble before it had begun.

I saw some flashes I said damn something ain’t right, I heard some screaming now all I see is light. I heard someone scream another fool got shot tonight. Now there’s nothing but silence, the quiet storm of violence, I see faces but they’re cloudy, they’re not clear. I finally recognize them the faces of the people I shot last year. I see my grandmother telling me to come here, for the first time in my life I feel real fear. This can’t be right or is it I feel I’m on display some kind of fucked up exhibit living resistance, a death sentence. I hear Father Leary in the background is it to late for me to listen. I see my grandfather out at the creek fishing, I hear Pastor Terrell preaching about wisdom. I’m walking out in a garden amongst the prettiest shades of green I hear over and over again John 14:13. Then suddenly I hear; my alarm clock ring I’m saying damn this was nothing but a dream.