How to Date Yourself and Fall in Love
by
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December 1996, I was at the tail end of a world tour with the famous Barry Manilow, and my last taping with him was the A&E special in New York City. I found love with a man in the music industry named Garth, a few months earlier; he was a singer/songwriter, with blond hair and blue eyes. His body was extremely thin for my taste, but Garth had an energy about him that was very attractive to me. I was never into looks, but Garth had amazing features, very strong definition in the face, and this thin nose. I used to call him Casper the friendly Ghost, because he was so pale. His personality, however, made up for any physical quirks. Garth was indeed charismatic; spirituality was his weapon in the love department. He knew how to use spiritual teaching to make his points and to impress me...and he did impressed me, because I needed a man with a strong spiritual base, who was also mentally independent and physically mature. No co- dependent kind of guy for me! And Garth had it goin' on! He was secure as a person, and had lots of friends as well as a musical following of his own, so finishing off my tour with Barry was exciting and easy for me. I figured I would take some time off and get to know my soul mate, and we'd get married and have some kids, and on, and on. We both had busy schedules, and Garth lived in Arizona, but frequently traveled to L.A. So without questions, I gave Garth the keys to my place to stay while I finished out my tour.
In the early part of December 1996 I had to fly to New York City for a week, for the A&E special. Garth and I were so in love that we called each other everyday. After the taping of the show, I flew back as fast as I could to be with Garth. I should have known something was wrong when he didn't pick me up from the airport.
I caught a ride home with one of Barry's road managers, and to my surprise Garth was home asleep. His excuse was that he forgot. I guess It really didn't matter at the time, because I just fell into his arms and we made love until the break of dawn. I woke up in the middle of the night and walked around to get a feel of my humble abode. It felt so good to be home. I went to my kitchen and got some juice, then went to the bathroom. I went to the business office that I had set up in my home to check my business files, to make sure they were locked. I had a lot of personal papers locked away, and I had given warning to Garth not to go digging through my personal stuff. He had thought I was kidding, but I had been as serious as a clever fox. As it turns out, everything was in order. You see, I had set up little traps to see if anyone would move them. I don't know, somewhere deep down inside I had always wanted to be a spy. Anyway, I sat down in my living room, just breathing and relaxing.
I began reminiscing on my life with Garth. He was good to me, and I felt there was a bright future ahead of us. I was also determined not to get in my own way, so I did my best to just relax and let go of my rocky past. This is it for me, my search is over, I thought to myself, as a reclined in my big black sofa, soaking up the aroma of my one bedroom cocoon.
But wait! Something was different. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly. So I just sat there looking around my living room, smelling the air like a Siamese cat. I felt some other energy around me. I closed my eyes, feeling the room, then felt an energy drop in my body, and my stomach ached. I have a photographic memory, and I could literally feel this other entity in my house that hadn't been there before. It was female energy.
Now, let me clarify something here. I never...I mean NEVER, EVER have people over to my house. Garth was the first person I had allowed in my house in years. My abode is my cocoon, my safe haven, my nest, my sacred place. I sage my home, I leave music on for my home, I have symbols of angels around the place. I guess I like to surround myself with good energy. So in this little mini-movie, my mind began playing back images of Garth and some woman making love all over my house. Her scent was present. I checked the shower –– no evidence. I checked my combs and brushes –– nothing. Then I went to the hamper –– still nothing. I looked in the garbage for condom wrappers –– nothing again. But by now I was freaking out. I took deep breaths, and said to myself, I know what's going on here, I'm in sabotage mode. I'm trying to sabotage this relationship, because it's just too good to be true. I tried calming my senses down, talking to myself, talking myself right out of these ridiculous thoughts. Soon I began smiling, I even laughed at myself. I don't tend to be an insecure person. I know how to love and be loved. And so I continued to tell myself that everything didn't have to be a struggle for me. Those days are over. No more train-wreck relationships. Next, I went into denial mode. I crawled into bed with my soul mate and went to sleep. Morning came. I cooked breakfast, and opened up a conversation by asking him if anyone had been here. To my surprise he actually said yes. I almost dropped the cereal bowl out of my hand. But I listened to his reply. He said, "I had a cleaning lady come to clean your house. And it was meant to be a surprise for you, because you had been on the road. And when you came home, I wanted you to do nothing but rest."
My emotions got the best of me, and I looked at Garth with so much love in my eyes. Of course we made love...as though we needed an excuse.
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About the Book
I tell this story all the time, and by the time I finish most people are surprised--but are inspired to try it themselves. So, I am writing my story of how I dated myself, and really did find the man of my dreams. Do you want to know how? Well listen up. And let me start from the beginning.
This book deals with the hardcore realities that none of us wants to talk about or deal with in relationships, especially when it comes down to matters of the heart. When a relationship has ended, people have a tendency to go right back into another relationship, hoping to suppress the memories of the previous one. Or they have the tendency to abuse themselves by turning to external substances such as drugs, alcohol, sex or work, to forget the pain of a broken heart. The reality of those kinds of actions only brings on more suffering, and sometimes even illnesses that you'd never imagine. The truth is, when you trade one relationship for another, it's a guarantee that you will follow the same pattern from the previous relationship.
This book deals with the issues that I faced while making decisions to give more love to myself. My external world shifted to a level of consciousness that promotes growth, understanding and love. The systems that I had developed were no longer working for me. The only way to change, and be totally honest with myself, was to accept certain truths about my reality. I was my worse enemy. I had to change and become something different in order to expect my life to be whole and complete. Once I made the necessary adjustments, then –– and only then! –– would I be a healthy individual who would make correct decisions for my well-being. Only then would I meet the man of my dreams.
The truth is, I had all of the answers within, but lack the ability to tap into that space of health, wealth and success. For some reason I wasn't getting the results that I needed in order to be a whole person, and I blamed everyone around me, instead of facing the truth-- that it was me- myself-and-I who was stopping me from having the life I deserved. I had all of this knowledge, I had all of this training, I had the keys all locked up inside of me, but I didn't realize it because of my external dramas. There were layers and layers of baggage that were buried deep down inside of me, stemming from the beginning of my birth.
I had developed an ego that wanted to live out some external fantasy just to fit in, into a world that left me empty. The scars and bruises of my broken heart were killing me softly. But once I said that I loved myself, the whole universe came to my rescue. I was forever changed; I relied on the guidance of a higher power to help me remember who I was, and why I chose to be here at this time.
And now I would like to share that vision with you. I would like to help those who are confused about the statements, "What did I do wrong?"-- "Why is this happening to me all the time?"-- or even, "I never get that man of my dreams," "I'm not good enough." Well, it's up to you. It's up to you to go through the process of surrendering to a higher level of being. Only YOU know your situation, and what it's going to take for you to overcome the obstacles and create a loving place for yourself. But you must be honest with yourself in order to heal, heal within-- Once you can heal within, everything will be healed from without. So, this is my story, How to Date Yourself and Fall in Love.
I pray that those who read my book can find some answers, some solutions to their story. I pray that we all can open up to love and allow love to be the main ingredients in our hearts, minds, bodies, spirits and souls. I pray that telling the truth about my darkest hour can allow others to go deep within and heal. I pray that this book be a tool for those who are not willing to go all the way. I pray that peace on earth is right now. I pray that I continue to grow with this knowledge. I pray that God be the center of my equation. And as I pray this for myself, I pray this for all of us who have ears. Amen.
Namaste,
Dorothy C. Pincus
About the Author
Dorothy C. Pincus started writing at the age of three. Poetry and channel writing were the first for her to explore. She would write about environmental issues, the news, and personal feelings of internal conflicts, struggles, battles, and shifts in consciousness. Eventually her works began to formulate into poems, songs, books, short stories, scripts, and articles.
Dorothy is an ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church. She received a Degree in Religion, and has been awarded with certification in Doctor of Divinity, Doctor of Motivation, Doctor of Religious Science and Doctor of Universal Order.
Dorothy was accepted into a two-year correspondence course on children books and received her certification. She is a graduate of the Institute of Psycho-Structural-Balancing (IPSB); a practitioner of five years of Jorei/Reiki (Energy Work); and is the author of, "The Spoken Gospel" (one woman's journey through transformation). She is also the author of, "The Sin Within, a True Story of the Conflict in Man," based on the scripture of the Bible, Roman 7:14-25. Dorothy completed a singing album of the Spoken Gospel based on Volume VIII, called "Mudra." She also holds the honor of singing for the Democratic Party Convention 2000 (President Clinton).
Dorothy believes that in order to bring healing to the body temple, we must have the triple-trio (Body, Mind and Spirit) operating in one accord. And to bring this change about, we must shift our consciousness to a higher level of living. We must expose the illness, the sickness, and the poverty that are locked inside of our body temples to create a healthy external world. We must heal and forgive ourselves in order to know how it feels to be happy, to be free. It starts with you, with me, with us. This is the holistic approach. This way brings healing to the whole fixed design of the body temple. Toxins must be released and healing will take place to make a new you. We must search the scriptures of life in order to grow, transform, and develop our consciousness. Educate ourselves to reach our true nature – love.
"Love is the Key to life and Life is the key to Love."
So, I introduce to you: How to Date Yourself and Fall in Love
Namaste,
Dorothy C. Pincus