Inspiration is a Four-Letter Word

What I have been saying is that we have to cope with life from the moment we are born, and it does not stop until our final breath. Life is but a constant challenge. Every time we turn around, something new is waiting, ready to confront us, daring us to fold up/give up.

Early on, life is completely uncomplicated. Our major concerns, the only concerns we really have, are eating and sleeping, and getting our diapers changed on demand. The only people we have to deal with are our mother and/or father and we learn very quickly what they are all about. We find out how to cope with them and what it takes to get what we want, when we want it. And all the while we are "training" them to cope with us. If there are siblings, we do the same with

them. We enter this life totally self-centered. Nothing matters except our own well-being. All in all, it is a very simple life – no complications, no real problems. And yet it represents our first challenges in living with others.

The next stage will generally involve learning to "live" with those outside our family. During those first couple of years, we are completely selfish – the whole world centers around us. Only we matter! Hopefully, we are taught about the feelings of others – that they matter, too. It is something we have to learn. This will be the basis for how we treat others throughout our lives. We learn how and when to put our wants and desires second. School will give us our first real taste of this "problem." We are placed in a captive situation with others our age, as well as some older and some younger, some we may know and some we do not know. This situation is under the control and direction of a "new" authority – not our parent or anyone we know. Nonetheless, we discover it is someone new we must obey – orders not from home, but orders. All of a sudden, our test of coping with authority, learning to take directions – being told what or what not to do – and having to do something that we may not wish to do, enters our lives. And yet this is still a relatively uncomplicated part of life, compared to what is yet to come.

Eventually, and without fail, puberty hits! We change physically and emotionally. Boys start seeing girls in a different "light" (something girls had already been doing regarding boys). What is this strange attraction to the opposite sex? We have not experienced this feeling before. Our lives are never to be the same again. This "new" challenge involves finding that person we have an urge to be with and who wishes to be with us. But, because life is not easy, most of us are constantly faced with "snags." The one we want may want someone else. And they, in turn, may want another, and on and on it goes – the dating/mating scene – trying to learn how love works. Experience for many of us is limited, so when we do not get the one we want, we are "crushed." Even worse is the devastation we feel if we get that one and later they choose to move on to someone else. That "first love" lost is traumatic. At the time, we see it as the end of our "love life" (for some, sadly, it represents the end of life itself). There cannot possibly be anyone in this life whom we can "love," and no one can tell us any different. But this strange life does provide! Accept that fact. You will live through the hurt. Recognize that it is just the tip of the iceberg. Coping with love is life-long. See it as one of life’s challenges, nothing more. For some, it may be the biggest. For some, it may be insignificant. For all, it is just a part of life!

If and when "the" love arrives (and you will know it), be prepared to accept one of your major challenges. But do not fool yourself – it is not a 50/50 challenge. It is 100/100! Both must give all they can to make it work, make it last. Most of us are weak, though, and sometimes a loss of effort from either or both will cause love to fade. Sadly, love sometimes changes colors completely and becomes "hate." When it changes extremes, there must not have been "true love" in the first place. There should never be hate. Hate will destroy! Accept the experiences you shared. Be grateful for having lived them. Keep them positive in your mind – learn from them. Cope and continue!

None of us are immune to coping with death. Sometime in our lives we must face dealing with the death of a close relative, a spouse, a child, a friend or acquaintance, or a love. It is easier for some, but it is not easy for anyone. At an extreme, some cannot deal with death at all. It is so tragic, they end up taking their own lives. So sad and yet it happens. They needed help and either had no one to look to, or the wrong things were said, or nobody spotted the warning signs of a problem. We must all learn that death is part of life – simply a stage, an extension, of living. God had a reason for "taking" that person; otherwise, they would still be with us. Your faith in God should help you reconcile the fact, accept it. Death is a tragedy only to those left behind. If you believe in God, you know we live only in preparation for eternal life with Him. If you do not believe in God, you reconcile according to what you do imagine. We all must believe in something – it is our strength in living this life. Belief in nothing means we are simply floundering through this existence. I doubt there is anyone who really wants to think this life is it. Everyone has a conscious or unconscious desire to "live" after death. I don’t care who they are. Given that, coping with death can be more tolerable. Cope and accept!