Long Time Loves
by
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and they lived happily ever after."
All of those deliriously happy brides and grooms in the fairytales that we listened to throughout childhood not only stayed married, they lived happily ever after. How in the world did they ever manage to do that?
Ask anyone who has been married for a long time how they managed to do it and they will quickly say that marriage is hard work. It has its ups and downs, its funny times, and its dismal times. There are issues about money, relatives, babies, houses, jobs, and neighbors. There are also challenges around values, personalities, fidelity, sex, politics, retirement, and health. The characters in the stories that follow have lived and loved long together. They have faced each of these problems and many more, too. They have experienced great joy, great sorrow, great frustration, and great anger together. And, they have endured. Their stories illuminate the uniquely intricate fabric that is woven in support of long time loves. For each couple featured found a way to master the ambiguities that come to those who love long.
In the pages that follow, you will meet Fred and Marge at the time of transition from the world of paid employment to retirement. Only after the going away party do they realize that they have very different ideas about how they will spend the golden years. Fred thinks that he will do as he pleases or maybe nothing at all while Marge has a complete agenda waiting for him.
Then, serious illness disrupts the joy that Warren and Cookie should experience at the wedding of their youngest daughter. Cookie is relentless in her efforts to protect her mate and to enable him to function to the best of his ability at this important event. The needs of both the first and the second generation have to be balanced in order for the family to grow and expand together.
Ben and Cathy finally have the house and their lives all to themselves when circumstances bring a married son and his family back home to live. Their loss of privacy is matched by their intrinsic desire to do the right thing despite unforeseen difficulties. The blending of families requires patience and humor that are particularly difficult for Ben to muster.
Then, you will be with the wife of thirty-two years who comes to suspect that her husband is cheating on her. As she swings from fury to melancholy, she rethinks the stages of her life with Ed and relives the moments large and small that have marked their marriage. In the course of her reverie, she takes us along on her honeymoon, she shows us her children, she remembers how hard it was to make ends meet, especially when the paychecks stopped coming. She reviews her jealousy toward her sister, her ambivalence toward her friends, her longing to understand how a husband of so many years could
defile his vows. And, in the end. . .well, you’ll see.
These stories are based upon the real experiences of men and women who have lived and loved long together. May they entertain you and may you grow in respect for those who lovingly labor in the garden of vintage marriage.
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About the Book
There are some tricks to remaining happily married over a long time. However, most of these essentials are not yet in evidence at the time of the nuptials. They come with time, effort, and lots of work. These include growing a huge sense of humor, cultivating the ability to overlook the very obvious, maintaining a memory bank that is long on affectionate remembrances and short on irritating ones, and committing to the rediscovery of new reasons to love at each and every stage of the marriage. In LONG TIME LOVES the reader is introduced to couples who have enduring marriages. After many years together, these characters still face monumental adjustments due to problems with their grown children, health concerns, retirement transitions, and the fear of loss. These couples know each other well. They know how to fight meaningfully, to lose gracefully, and to find the funny wherever life hides it. Their stories amuse, entertain, instruct, and inspire. And they reflect real life as well.
About the Author
Many, many years ago, Charmaine L. Ciardi entered into a one time, lifetime marriage. Together, she and her best friend raised three children of their own and a small herd of others who needed them. Along the way, they worked through differences in opinion, opposite personalities, night graduate school, tight money, serious health issues, the premature losses of loved ones, and all of the myriad potholes that come into the path of committed married couples. While primarily staying at home and mothering the brood, the author also attained the highest college degree, taught in several university programs, wrote a regular advice column, and four works of nonfiction that illuminate family issues from infancy through childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, parenting, and grandparenting. She lectures widely on matters of family life, which serves as a private practice in family counseling. In LONG TIME LOVES, she chronicles the events in married life that shape those marital bonds that endure. Some of the material is drawn from the countless numbers of families with whom she has worked. And, as is inevitable in the world of fiction, much of the material is drawn from her own long, loving and successful marriage.