America Through the Looking Glass: An Outsider's look at American Society

Omokaro: Well, women are generally considered to be the engines of stability in many societies. In societies where the females failed to do a good job, chaos always took control. Men are rash while women are rational in social matters. Social stability is associated with women’s intuition. Despite the fact that men appear to dominate households, in reality, it’s the women who hold the keys to the success or otherwise of every household.

Men are mere pawns in a woman’s world. They fight, work and try to excel in all their endeavors for the sole purposes of pleasing women. Women, on the other hand do not have to work hard to please men. They just be themselves. Men either like or don’t like a particular woman, whereas a woman could learn to like or love a man depending on his demeanor to her. Only wimpy men cling to women for security. A strong man chooses his lady. He does not wait to be chosen. If a man loves a woman, he would do everything within his power to please her. That’s why in the love game, women are presumed to have the advantage. They just sit and wait for the most eligible man to come around. Women could always say no.

Women determine the behavior of men. Men usually do what women want of them. Thus women of every society could be held accountable to the character of their men. Men behave according to dictates of society, and more so by the standards set by women. If women set higher standards, the men would strive to meet them. On the other hand, if the standards are low, that’s what they should expect in return. My experience so far has shown that American women have failed their men and society. I know truth is bitter, and no one wants to hear it. But in order to bring out the good, the true, and the beautiful, all the chips should be placed on the table. Very often, people accept my reasoning pattern but quickly disassociate themselves from the situation. Every one is more particular about themselves. But in statistical jargon, two or three out of hundred is not good enough, and when it applies to the whole nation, it becomes a crisis.

How did American women fail their society, someone may ask. A simple answer will not suffice for the question. It seems that American women are gradually turning their men into wimps. The term, "Strong Man", especially among the younger under thirty generation, is an endangered species. Something that is out of fashion. Any strong-minded male who tries to advocate traditional values is quickly branded as a male chauvinist. Males are therefore confused about which role they should play. This trend is creating lazy and irresponsible crop of males who end up walking out on their children and responsibilities. The women brag openly about their not needing any man to take care of them. What role is left for the man if their families’ don't need them? The air is currently saturated with the idea of the modern woman being independent. Traditional housewife role is regarded as a thing of the past and any woman that considered herself as such is looked upon with disdain. A lady once told me, it is like a taboo to portray oneself as a housewife.

This trend is not limited to professional women but cuts across all levels including ethnic and race. Even those on public assistance try very hard to maintain what they consider to be their dignity by not depending on a specific man. Of course! They have a roof over their heads so long as they don’t claim to marry even though men come and go through their doors, and sometimes actually living with them. But the fact remains that they could kick the man out anytime they want to do so.

Most of the women, including single professionals prefer men moving in with them rather that the other way round. The term "a man is the king of his castle", does not apply anymore. The law also favors the women. A man could be kicked out of his house within a blink of an eye. The women are very aware of that and some use it to their advantage. They can afford to do so because the welfare system, rather than encouraging stable relationships, actually helps to destroy them. A woman on welfare will loose her benefits once the authorities found out about any changes in her marital status. The individual would not be given adequate time to adjust themselves.

Many years ago, a man used to woo and court a lady. Men were supposed to do the pursuing while women appeared elusive and mysterious. Those days are long gone in America. Women today do the pursuing. They decide which man to love. The power to choose has been taken from men. I remember the advice I got from an American male friend a few months after my arrival. He cautioned me that, the best way to get American women is to let them come to you. According to him, an American woman would move mountains for you if she likes or loves you. But if you as a man decide to go after her, you face nothing but frustration. "When they want you", he continued, "your phone would not stop ringing". How do you make them like you when they don’t know you, I asked. "The man has no control over that, individual women decide on their whims, if you’re lucky, you get chosen".

I was flabbergasted by what I heard, and over the years, I put on a guard. Being nice to a lady does not guarantee one of winning her love. More often you hear these words. We are friends, we can’t go together because I don’t love you. I just like you. We can only be friends. Who do they love then? It is baffling to hear women talk about relationships. The first statement you hear is, "I met a guy last night at the club", Oh God, he’s so cute! He’s tall and handsome, and has a cute butt. Her compatriots would giggle and congratulate her. "You go girl"!