A Woman's Relationship Survival Guide
by
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Well, men and women truly believe that their thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors are the right way to maintain a happy and successful relationship. The frustrations, arguments, and struggles within some relationships occur periodically, whereas, others occur daily. The degree of problems will vary depending on personalities, beliefs, lifestyles, family background, common interests, personal tolerance, and temperaments. There are so many differences between men and women. Unless these differences are explored and understood, there will always be conflicts and misunderstandings. Women seem to be more willing to take the initial step toward understanding the differences between the sexes while men believe they don’t need to know any more than what they already know. Men believe that women are the ones who have the problem, not them. Men and women are so different it’s no wonder they have so many problems trying to communicate, understand, love, and appreciate each other.
If you’re lucky, your partner will want to share your new found knowledge from this book. Even if he’s not receptive, you will learn to be able to take control of your inner self and learn to accept and work around his behaviors and attitudes. At that time, you will be on your way to deciding whether your relationship (and your partner) is worth your time. You may have already decided that your current relationship isn’t exactly what you expected, but still insist that you want to stay with him. Although your partner may change only a little or maybe not at all, this book will help you to know who you are. You will learn how to develop your inner self, how to cope with the problems and differences between men and women, then how to minimize your struggle within the relationship. Since we have to associate and deal with men on a daily basis, we need to understand them (and men understand us) in order to care for their needs, communicate with them, love them, and try to teach them to do the same for us. You never know when he may surprise you and make more changes than you expected.
When men and women learn to accept why the other acts or reacts toward situations, they can learn to coexist within a relationship. This book is designed to help you better understand why you and your partner think, feel, or react in particular ways. No matter what you learn from this book, you should always remember that not every relationship will survive all the trials and tribulations. You also need to keep in mind that you’ll be able to say you’ve done the best you could. Hopefully, you will discover, a new you, a new man within your current partner, a better relationship, and a new attitude toward life. You should be able to gain deeper insights into yourself and your partner. You may also discover a greater freedom within every aspect of your life.
Before you trudge down the path of explorations, it is important for you to understand that:
- No relationship is problem-free.
- Men and women will always have a different outlook as to the meaning of a relationship.
- Not every man and woman belong together in a relationship.
- No one is responsible for a partner’s happiness.
- Don’t expect to fully understand each other.
- Be aware of too high of expectations.
- No one should lose one’s self to maintain a relationship.
- Not all problems can be resolved.
- You should never assume you know how your partner feels.
- Pressure should never be applied to make someone change.
- No one should seek to control or manipulate a partner.
- Having a child will not hold a relationship together.
- No one should try to trap someone in a relationship who truly desires to leave it.
- You should never expect someone to owe you a relationship in exchange for sex.
- Everyone should redefine one’s expectations of a relationship as often as necessary.
- A relationship can never be bought.
- Giving too much too soon does not guarantee something in return.
- You should never expect someone to meet your expectations because of an attraction for appearance or possible potential.
Changes will not occur overnight. It could take many weeks, months, even years before a man decides to change, and it will only happen when he decides it’s time. Any change before he believes it’s time, is only a put-on to get through a problem or an upsetting situation. Be aware that some men may never change. The process of change for a man can be so slow that it takes patience, persistence, and a strong desire from a woman. So, be willing to dedicate your time and efforts toward him.
Many men and women coexist within a relationship for a variety of reasons. Women should thoroughly examine their potential partner. Women shouldn’t accept a man on his words alone, nor for his good behavior over a short period of time. Long-term dedication from a man is the only proof a woman has that shows his commitment to a relationship. I consider approximately three years to be long-term. If you’re already in a relationship for more than three years and it doesn’t appear that he’s made any changes, you will have to decide whether he’s worth your time to try and salvage the relationship.
Although both sexes have to be willing to work toward keeping the relationship "alive," women seem to be the ones who are more willing to focus and concentrate on making changes within themselves and the relationship. There’s one problem with this method. The woman won’t necessarily be happier. Any changes made should be beneficial for both. Sometimes a woman has to change before the man will change and that may take awhile before it occurs. A man can’t be forced to change. If a woman plans to instill the desire within him to change, she will need to prepare for a possible long and arduous haul.
Everyone has the right to feel free within a relationship, yet need to adhere to some limitations set by both partners. For some reason, a woman is more willing to give in and make changes to please her partner and try to save the relationship. Both sexes should be willing to look at themselves when problems arise to determine who might have to change particular behaviors. Unfortunately for women, most men believe they aren’t at fault, and they don’t need to change. Most men think their partner is responsible for keeping herself and him happy. Those same men also believe she should make the needed changes, not him. A woman needs to be careful to not devote her life to always changing to please her partner, especially if he demands it. No woman should have to give up who she is because of a man, even if he demands that too. Any changes a woman makes should be by her choice and when she chooses to do so. Just the same, women shouldn’t force men to change. Try to appreciate any positive changes men do make. Sometimes women have to settle for "less" than they want in a relationship. Settling for less isn’t always bad as long as the "less" doesn’t stop women from pursuing and obtaining desires and goals. As long as the "less" doesn’t prevent women from being an independent woman.
When problems arise, there are various methods to possibly solve each of them. The solution depends on several factors:
- How the woman feels.
- What the man believes.
- Do both of you want the relationship to work?
- Do both of you want to be with the other?
- Do you have much in common?
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
A Woman's Relationship Survival Guide was written to assist women in learning how to better understand their behaviors and swirling emotions when under the influence of a relationship. The guide examines issues surrounding personal responsibility for choices we make and trails we take.
Each chapter exposes several paths of opportunity and supports the strengthening and building of the inner self. Though life can become busy and relationships can be turbulent, we must stop at times to rethink just who we are, where we're headed, and what's really right for us as individuals. Besides, it's unfair to claim that our partner doesn't know or understand us if we don't really know or understand ourselves.
The guide is not written to encourage role reversals. We should not mimic behaviors that we dislike the most in our partner while claiming to be a better person. The guide is not written to cheerlead the leaving of your partner at the rise of the slightest problem. Instead, the guide promotes healthy self-respect, self-reliance, and a reciprocal partnership.
Happiness, contentment, stimulation, and security are signs of relationship stability. Daydreams of pepper spraying your partner to the point of satisfaction or frequent desires to slap the crap out of him are signs that you need to read deeper into this book (if, he's worth it).
About the Author
Brief Personal History:
- Credentialed Special Education Teacher for children with an age range of 2 - 13. This career position was held for 8 years.
- Worked with parents and families through counseling sessions during the teaching career. Sessions were held at the school site.
- Family Support Facilitator - worked with adult couples with relationship and family issues. Counseling techniques were used. This was accomplished through one-on-one sessions in their home.
Brief Writing History:
- Freelance writing since 1987.
- Five poems have been published in three anthologies.
- A Woman’s Relationship Survival Guide (If He’s Worth It?) was written after a three-year study of women throughout the US. The study was done in a verbal and written format then used to complete the book. This book will sell through 1st Book Library over the Internet.
- Freelance Writing for Greeting Card Companies was published in 1992 by Distinctive Publishing. This book was completed after a two-year study of the greeting card market. The book is currently selling through Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.
- Poems and Passages, A Poet’s Path to Writing Great Works was contracted with Commonwealth, Inc. a publishing company in Canada. Commonwealth went out of business before the book could be published. This is a 6 unit how-to book which I co-authored with Ronald Brown. This book will be submitted to an Internet publisher this year who coordinates book sales through Amazon.com.