Tall is the Pine

He looked past the barred window at the panorama of rolling hills, the continuity broken intermittently by small groves of trees. He strained his deep blue eyes to see how far the scene extended. Several cows gathered in the shade of one cluster of trees to escape the heat of the midday sun and lazily chewed their cuds while switching flies with their tails.

He had lived through fifty-eight summers much like this one except for two which he spent in the peace time army in Germany.

Few experiences equaled the serenity of the midsummer's day in East Texas. Only one whose life had been molded by this experience could achieve the tranquility of the moment.

It was difficult to imagine that one who experienced this feeling could also feel the rage that Joel had.

Joel thought of summers gone by; summers of innocence, joy, and peace and love. A frown moved across his furrowed face, as the shadow of a cloud moved over a hillside, when he remembered days of grief, pain, and hate and turmoil.

Joel was abruptly drawn back to the present by the appearance of a hawk in the sky above the hills. It soared into view floating on nothing, motionless except for a barely perceptable movement caused by an updraft of warm air.

The appearnace of innocence belied the true nature of the bird. Joel remembered the blood curdling squawk of a mother hen warning her chicks of danger.

The hawk slowly dipped his wing, initiating a descending spiral of tighter and tighter circles.

'Mr. Hawk has spotted his meal,' Joel whispered and ran his fingers through his brown hair, now streaked with gray.

Suddenly, the bird folded his wings to his side and plunged straight downward, drawn by earth's magnetism, as if shot from a rifle. At the last possible moment, the wings flashed open, directing the path of flight into an arc which took the hawk within inches of the grasstop. As his talons opened, the wings tilted to an angle which abruptly halted the flight of the bird of prey. He sank out of view into the tall grass and a violent struggle for life ensued. Shortly, the tips of the wings returned into view, madly thrashing to transport hunter and prey gradually higher and higher. As the bird ascended slowly, the claws rose from the grass and Joel saw a snake writhing frantically in its attempt to escape. His struggle was to no avail. The battle was over.

Joel watched intently as the pair disappeared into the nearest clump of trees.

One must die that another may live. Was that my true motivation?

Tears welled in his eyes and one lone drop coursed laboriously down Joel's weathered face to his chin and dropped silently to the floor.

His meditation was interrupted by the sound of familiar footsteps echoing in the bleak hallway as Preacher approached. They had been college roommates.

What will we talk about today, mused Joel.

A guard let Preacher in and locked the door. Joel had heard the metallic sound many times but still felt a chill everytime it was repeated.

'Preacher, I'm glad to see you, especially today. It's been a rough one. There isn't much to do in this place except think and I've been hard at it all morning. Mostly, I've reminisced. I've live some days filled with as much joy as anyone could possibly experience and I've had days I agonized through which were so painful it hurts even to remember. I'm searching for answers which, so far, have been elusive. I'll probably never find the truth, especially since there is so little time left. Maybe there is no truth.'

'Joel, I've been with you through some of those unpleasant times. I'm sure you're going to cope with what's before you.'

Preacher gazed out the window while he talked. When he turned around, he wasn't sure how much Joel had heard because he saw that far-away look in his eyes which had become commonplace in these past few months. His being there seemed to trigger trips into the past. He knew it would be some time before Joel would hear anything he said, so he sat silently on the straight back chair patiently awaiting Joel's return.