The Tilling of the Flesh
by
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This heart skips a beat like a stone skimming the ocean...
When we get so close...and I begin to feel the motion...
of bonding...of relating...of how You hold me in Your love !
If I were ever able...to leap from my life's fable...
and keep this joy...and thus enable... You to hold me in Your love.
You are the splashing...of sweet water...upon my skin in the morning...
You're the One who awakens me ...and Who gives my life for-warning...
My God...You are the 'Very Best'...Who holds me in Your love !
I might not make much sense right now ...not just this very minute...
but there is...no pretense...right now...as You've held me just so ...intimate...
To be so free and merely be...as just Your finite creature...
to glean the ocean's bottom...and to be as but one feature...
that You've held ...within Your love !
I know that I am silly...really trying to relate this...as the joy that does so fill
me...
for you have held me in Your love !
My thoughts skip a beat just like...a stone will skip ...upon the ocean...
all my patterns are askew...as I'm trying to relate of the emotion... I'm so
held within Your love.
Forgive me for ever trying...to even write this story... about Your awesome Glory...
as I'm held within Your love ! Good Morning Jesus !
-The Beacon-
Such lonely beacon, though never dwindling!
How long can you signal out amidst such darkness?
To whom are you calling ,or is your search a forever destiny?
Waves as only shallow waters, brushing up against your colded,
clammy stone!
A greeting, a cold kiss, such as this!
I love your light, as it's at such a distance,
and not unlike my own eyes; shimmering some hope,
beyond that brisk wave of shallow kissing!
My blinding, eyes focus upon, your relief of heavy, fogging
and yes, even upon a dancing, of morning's splashing...
breaking through and out of such a solemn night!
You are forever, mine to have. A best friend, so that I might
play also; even as an entreat, to sun's light! Yes, my seclusion
is safe, with you alone!
Such a gathering of assembled stones; settling upon...
The Very Rock! You are much more then my beacon or my light-
house! You are indeed, my forever, my given portion of light!
I love You, and You alone!
You are my very faith, as you are forever, bright beyond the sun!
You are hope for me and the Son(sun) upon my darkest sky!
as You are my best friend; vigilant throughout my nights. I love
my time spent with You in the night as everyone can see in the
light of day!
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About the Book
My book The Tilling of the Flesh and I are inseparable ... as I've been just that honest regarding issues ... that were painfully met ... head-on ... with a frankness ... that only excluded the necessary discretion ... needed to maintain soul!
Your life's journey could be captured as easily ... as putting pen to paper ... with the help of God ... and a good night's rest. People who were instrumental in the mechanics of my book (and there were many blessed souls who would listen to my work over the phone) were also instrumental in the 'adjustments' necessary for me to begin recovery.
I came from the darkened halls of the institution s... yet finally, there was a hope ... it laid just inside the doors ... as I was allowed to use a typewriter and was given access to a copy-machine ... I planted flowers outside ... and was taught the rudiments of common decency ... by many kind people ... so many that I honestly could not mention all without failing to remember some ... Thank You! Special mention is given from my heart to everyone ... from Caro Center or 'Caro University.' I hopefully can keep practicing and adding to what I've learned ... all through the Special Graces ... and Mercies of Our Lord ... with the ever-patient family of Pastor Wester ... his wife Donna ... and my most beloved friend Jackie Wendell ... May The Lord bless and enrich your lives ... as you have mine!
About the Author
Susan Lillian Smith was born in Detroit, Michigan, in 1951. I'd say in all frankness ... that most of my life ... then ... was spent in escaping .. .by creating my own reality. I've been in psychiatric treatment ... since age 12 and the majority of my adolescent and adult life was spent in institutions ... of one kind or another.
Writing has allowed me to recover ... soul and mind! Independence was illusive ... as the child that I had remained to be, was severely, impaired and dysfunctional.
At this time ... I can thank God and the specially endeared persons ... whom all have helped me to continue to grow up.
This book of poetry evolved in coordination with ... both pain and the well-versed practice ... of the most helpful suggestions ... given by role-models ... who walked ... their talk! This all took place over a long span of years ... this I refer to as my career in the mental health system ... and finally my introduction into the community's local church ... as the most significant 'Seal of Acceptance' ... placing me on the road ... so-to-speak! This book chronicles the evolution of my special journey.