Of Life and Ecstacy

Christl smiled. It was hard for her to stay angry with this daughter who was one of the most precious things in her life. 'But what is wrong with these fine young men with whom you have grown up since you were a child? Can't one of them make you as good a husband, if not better, than any of those from the other camps? They're all hard workers, and I am sure they would be more than good providers.'

A look of displeasure crossed Lorna's face. 'Can't you see, Mama?' she said. 'You married an Irishman. Yes, he is my daddy, and I love him. But what kind of life are we living? And what kind of paycheck did he bring home last payday? We are living in poverty here in these mining pits where nobody even cares if we are alive. We have only twenty dollars a month with which to buy groceries. The rest of the money he often drinks up. Then he comes home and starts arguing with me about Sean. I just don't want to marry Sean--not now, not ever.' Lorna bowed her head. 'In fact,' she continued, 'I don't want to marry any of the pit miners. I hate this miserable way of life.' She turned away for a moment and stared toward the horizon.

Christl remained silent, thinking. Then she beamed a smile and patted Lorna gently on the back. 'But where do you expect to find a different man around here, my darling?' she asked. Pausing, she stared deeply into Lorna's sad eyes. In a soft voice, she added, 'Don't be so prejudiced, dear. The Irish don't like living in poverty. Nobody does.' She paused again. 'Blame the rich mine owners, not the poor men who toil for them for almost nothing,' she went on. 'It is they who sit high as gods upon a throne while we meekly hold the faith and look to the heavens for guidance.' She was silent for a moment before continuing once again. 'Sometimes I wonder if it's only a crutch in the sky, and that scares me.'

Lorna pursed her lips. 'He doesn't need to be any specific nationality,' she said. 'There are men of many nationalities in the richer camps upstate. I am not so much concerned with a man's nationality as I am about finding one to love by myself rather than having a husband Papa has chosen for me. On the last trip we made in our spring wagon up to the north camp for groceries, I noticed a few young men standing outside the general store making eyes at me. I heard one of them call another by name. One who was looking longingly at me was Jim Carrodine. He is a very handsome man, and from his appearance, I would guess he probably has his future well planned out.'

Lorna pause momentarily to study the expression on her mother's face. 'Maybe this young man could give me a better life,' she said. 'But then,' she added, 'anything would be a glorious change from the way we are now living.' Her eyes were sad as she looked up into her mother's concerned face.

Christl nodded her head slowly. 'For almost nineteen years now,' she said, 'you have been eating well. You have had enough to keep you healthy and vigorous. Why, all of a sudden, do you want to change? Have your father and I not given you the best life we could afford with our work, our sweat, and our tears?'

Lorna's, beautiful face twisted in disgust. 'I am simply tired of living this way, that's all, Mama.' She spoke slowly and looked down, away from her mother's face.