Is That Your Neighbor in the Basement?

IS THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR IN THE BASEMENT? A Hit And A Miss By Barbara Oliver Fletcher CHAPTER 1 “Wow! It’s sure been a busy last few months, hasn’t it?” Edith said as she poured her morning coffee. “Yes, it has.” Edna answered sipping her cup of coffee. “I have a new son-in-law and I finally have a grandchild. A beautiful granddaughter.” “Yes, you do. And Erica is absolutely adorable.” Edith said. “You’re so lucky she lives close by. My only grand child is a couple thousand miles away.” “Well, you can share mine with me, you know? I just wish your daughter would move back to this area again with her family.” “Yeah. So do I, but I don’t think that will ever happen.” Edith said sadly. “I guess it’s time to consider a trip to California in the near future to spend some time with them.” “Yes, it is. You haven’t been out to see them for a couple of years now.” Edna agreed. “I’ll look into it soon.” Edith remarked. “Hey. Why don’t we both plan a trip to San Francisco for a visit?” “That’s a great idea, Edith.” Edna expressed. “Let’s do that. I’d love to see Elaine, Carl and Beth again.” The sisters sat and discussed a trip to California together for a few minutes while they drank their morning coffee and decided that a trip to San Francisco was definitely in the cards in the future. “Well, Janice said we have a new case, so we should think about getting to the office pretty soon.” The office is E&E Investigations, which is owned and operated by Edna Barnes and Edith Johnson, two sisters in their late fifties and early sixties who had spent several years working with their husbands in their private detective agency in downtown Chicago in the 1980s and 90s. Both women loved the adrenaline rush of stakeouts, catching the bad guys, and solving crimes. After their husbands passed away they decided on a much slower pace of life for their retirement years so they sold their homes, pooled their funds, and purchased a new double-wide in a quiet senior mobile home park just outside of Chicago. Their lives consisted of quilting parties, Bingo and daytime television until Edna’s daughter, Ellen, showed up at their door with suspicions regarding her husband. This call for help prompted the sisters to jump into their detective mode, which they sorely missed, and their investigation uncovered a mistress and a murder plot which ultimately saved Ellen millions of dollars. Edna and Edith were once again bitten by the detective bug and were eager to start a new detective agency. Ellen, thankful that her nest-egg was saved used some of that money to help establish the sisters with their own agency, E&E Investigations. Edna had one daughter, Ellen, now married to Brad Evans and lives nearby. Ellen and Brad married recently and now have an infant daughter, Erica. Edith had two children. A daughter Elaine, who is married and lives in California with her husband, Carl, and young daughter, Elizabeth; and a son, Eddie who lives nearby and is a detective with the Hammond Police Department. The ladies sat and enjoyed their coffee then Edith made breakfast while Edna loaded the car with the essential stakeout necessities; DVD Player, movies, a thermos of coffee, cups, doughnuts, cookies, potato chips, ice chest with water and soda, and surveillance equipment. Edith was just putting the food on the table when Edna walked into the kitchen. Edna turned on the TV and put on the news while they ate their breakfast. When they were finished they cleaned up the kitchen. “This morning is sure flying by quickly, isn’t it, Edna?” “You’re right, it is. Let’s get changed and get off to work!” Edna responded. The ladies went to their rooms and changed into their work attire. Edna, Edith and Dildo the dog arrived at their office just before 10 am and greeted their receptionist. “Good morning, Janice!” “Mornin’ ladies. Ready to get to work?” Janice asked as she walked over to Dildo and gave him a big hug. “Was he any problem for you guys?” “He’s never a problem, Janice. We love doggie sitting for him.” Edith answered as she petted the dog. “I’m glad you share him with us.” “Well, we sure missed him.” Janice said as she walked over and poured them each a cup of coffee. “Is it okay if I drop him off at your house later on? Eddie and I are going to visit a sick friend in the hospital this evening.” “No problem, Janice.” Edith said. “We love having him.” “Let’s bring our coffee and the file into my office.” Edna suggested. The ladies grabbed their coffee and walked into Edna’s office. “Okay, Janice. Let’s see what you’ve got.” “Okay. Julia Hinshaw thinks her husband, Homer, has a Mistress. They live in the park at 48 Pine Circle. Homer goes off all the time and won’t tell his wife where he’s going or where he’s been. He’s gone at all hours of the day but will only say he was with ‘a friend’ when she asks. She has asked him point-blank if he’s having an affair and he just laughs and says he’s not. She wants to know what he’s doing and where he’s going! She says he’s acting really secretive and suspicious.” “Pine Circle. Isn’t that off of Hemlock Lane?” Edna asked. “Yeah. I believe it is.” Edith answered. “What kind of a car does he drive?” Edna asked Janice. Janice opened the file and scanned through the information and answered. “He drives a silver 1993 Toyota.” “Do either one of them work?” Edith questioned.” “No. They’re both retired.” Janice answered. “She told me that they owned an adult book store over in Aurora for a while, then they sold their house and moved here and it was too far to commute. They tried to move the business here but the city turned it down. So they were forced into closing it which has caused them a great deal of financial hardship.” “Oh that’s too bad. We really could have used an adult bookstore in town. It’s such a long hike to the one in Chicago.” Edith declared to a very surprised Janice and Edna. The room went silent for a few moments as Edna and Janice stared at Edith without saying a word. Edith was in her own little world and hadn’t noticed how quiet it had gotten. As she came back to reality she realized that Janice and Edna were staring at her. “What?” She asked as she looked at the two women. “You frequent an adult book store, Edith?” Edna asked wide-eyed. “Sure. Don’t you?” Edith answered with a surprised look on her face. “Even if I did, Edith, I certainly wouldn’t admit to it.” Edna answered with raised eyebrows. “And why not, Edna? What’s wrong with a little erotica now and then?” “You’re as bad as a horny teenager, Edith.” Edna laughed. “Well I’ve got a couple of books in my room that you can borrow and you might just change your mind about the whole idea.” “Don’t they give you weird looks when you go into one of those places?” Janice asked. “I have just as much right to be in there as they do and they’d just better get used to it.” Edith snapped. “And if anyone looks at me weird, I just give them my weird look back at them.” She wrinkled her nose and flexed her eyebrows. “Boy. You learn something new every day. Don’t you?” Edna mumbled to Janice. “Yeah. I’m kinda speechless here.” Janice declared wide-eyed. “You guys are a couple of prudes. We’re all sexual creatures.” Edith countered. “Edna, you need to get the stick out of your butt and embrace your sexuality. Try it. And you just might like it.” Edna stared at the smile on Edith’s face in wonderment for about a moment then picked up the file on the desk and continued the original conversation. “Do we have a photo of Homer?” Edna asked Janice. Janice dug through the file and handed a photo to Edna. “Okay, then. Let’s go see what Homer Hinshaw is up to!” Edith declared.