A Tale of Two War Wives

Annie had to quickly adapt to the requirements of her new society; and the requirements were strict. The Anglo-Indian community was insular, conformist in a very comfortable nest of habits and rules. With all the stresses of moving to a new country and a new community halfway around the world it was a relief to the newly arrived Annie that she was not expected to know it all. Peter’s colleague’s wives took Annie under their wings and introduced her to the rest of the group. Annie was shocked when she asked one of the woman if she knew any of the local women, she had replied “Oh, no! Thank goodness, I know nothing at all about them, nor do I wish to: really I think the less one sees and knows about them the better.” Cultural image of “British memsahibs” disturbed Annie the most. Moping around either sick of weather or menstrual cramps, so narrowly intolerant, almost vindictive to the locals and tyrannical and abusive Memsahibs had nothing much to do except look after themselves, make themselves pretty and gossip viciously. Usually bored to death, these memsahibs were prone to extra-marital affairs. Some were cruel and insensitive to Indian women and hopelessly segregated from them. Annie didn’t want to be part of the culture. These stereotype women who had their own insecurities and felt threatened by the local women degraded them. At homes of some of Peter’s colleagues she noticed that their prejudices led their husbands ban Indian women from their homes. They barred British men who had Indian wives or who openly consorted with Indian women, making sure that these outcasts were also ostracized from men's clubs and social functions. Annie was disgusted by it but she never expressed her opinions to the group, it was always in the evening with Peter that she discussed these issues. Both Peter and Annie thought it was a shame that these women who were well educated, well-travelled and came from good families had a thorough knowledge of precedence within European society but a lamentable ignorance of anything outside it. Annie wanted to know more about the culture and get to know the wives of the servants. She was amazed by the efficacy these women worked at in the kitchen and looking after the kids. Annie became friends with Mohan’s wife Sita who was a pleasant girl, very eager to learn to speak English. She finished her morning chores while her baby slept in the hammock in the shade of a tree. She cooked her husband’s meals in their outside kitchen, fed her husband and baby before she helped her herself. Annie was astounded at the selflessness, patience and love Sita showed for her baby. Annie couldn’t help her desire to hold the baby in her arms and sing nursery rhymes. She learnt to make rag dolls with the group of ladies who met on weekly basis for their craft lessons at the club. Sita helped Annie with the vegetable garden she was growing for both of them and Annie taught Sita how to make tea. She also taught her to write her name in the dirt. Both women learnt things from one another, but Sita could not learn to call Annie by her first name, she always called her ‘memsahib’. Annie learnt enough of the local language to communicate with Sita and Mohan. Most memsahibs preferred to speak broken Hindi to order the servants than trust English-speaking servants in their homes. British husbands also insisted on segregation, using seclusion as an excuse to separate their wives from Indian men, their argument was that until an Indian gentleman allows them to meet his wife; they will not allow him to meet an English lady.