Everything My Father Never Told Me

I’m noticing that as I leave the bookstore, time dwindles on the way that the random conversations, smells of mocha and Panini’s, sounds of ringtones and blackberry messenger chirps grow faint behind me as I move on in my Chevy into the future thinking about the past. I wonder where the line blurs and when man and animal separate and if we really do. I would love so much to be able to wander off into a forest, hunt for a living, dress myself in animal skins and build fires with my bare hands but don’t think that would make me an animal. There is a band of about five cats that live between my back yard and the surrounding neighbor’s yards and trees. A few kittens have also been added to their squad. I don’t like any of them and were it considered ok, I’d snipe them out of the trees and yards from the tree house in my backyard under proper dress and style. They lounge around like this is some kind of petting zoo or cat resort and leave their mess off by the side of the house for me to step on and fuss. When our trash can gets right around full they climb atop the fence and jump on to the recycle can and lift the trash lid and eat whatever they deem good and leave even more mess behind. Death to the little beasts. “We found it in the ditch” was what we would say as kids anytime that we came up with a bicycle our parents hadn’t seen before or just any random item that we had come across in an illegitimate manner. Babcock North is a small subdivision on the north side of San Antonio that lives at the intersection of Babcock and Spring Time. It is made up of about 13 different streets and the main cross street is Spring Time. Boone Elementary sits in the middle of the subdivision and as you enter the neighborhood there is a corner store on the left and a restaurant on the right then further in Boone Elementary sits at the left after a day care center. It seems as if the sun sets in Babcock North and as you enter into the neighborhood, the foot hills of the Texas hill country are visible directly ahead and if you continue in the neighborhood, it is sloped downward and you sink in with the sun as it sets at the Occident’s edge if it is dusk. Right when it came time to move out of the duplex, I met a beautiful girl at a friend’s apartment complex, after asking him if there were any “honeys” that lived around. He took me by her apartment and there she was smoking a cigarette outside the door with her aunt and her niece. We began dating and I would live between her apartment and my roommate’s new house for a while until I decided to rent an apartment. She was tall and naturally tan, half black and half Arab and stood around 5’6” with curly if not bushy hair but beautiful nonetheless. She was 18 when I met her and after much joking and awkwardness my friend asked her to pick one out of the four of us to talk to and she chose me. She lived only about five minutes from where I was staying and she had an interest in me, so once I settled in the new house she would come over and sip on my 24 oz Heinekens’ with me and began sleeping with me. She was staying at an apartment and her twin sister would soon move in with her and they’d later move into an apartment more fit for the two of them. Before meeting her I had enrolled at the local community college and before that had cut my hair from long wavy strands stretching further than halfway down my back, to a buzzed cut. I was still selling dope and remember leaving her at times and letting her know I’d be back briefly. She would lend me money to help complete my re-ups when I was waiting on my workers and always paid her back. I never took dope into her apartment, but did always have my money sprawled out on her coffee table or her drawer counter. She helped me during that time to slowly pull away from selling drugs. I made good grades, and joined an honor society and became the president of the chapter at the college. While running for president of the chapter, against no one, I would see shirts that said “Vote for Pedro” which confused me entirely since I had not seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite.