After the Dance

Tip: Allow for do-overs. Forgiveness is crucial when it comes to sustaining a long-term marriage. If you are in it for the long-haul I can guarantee that there will be some disappointments, letdowns, setbacks, and even heartaches that you will need to forgive your spouse for. Although it may seem as if you are forgiving your spouse, the forgiveness is for yourself. When you truly forgive you are reinforcing your faith in God that he has you covered. Even if it does not seem like your spouse is sincere, is deserving of forgiveness, or is still having partaking in behaviors that are causing the need for forgiveness, do your part and God will handle His part. Tip: Possession is 9/10th of the law. This expression means that physical possession is the best leverage and that it is more difficult to try to recover something than to hold on to it. Therefore, in relationship terms, it would be more logical to try to maintain and grow what you already possess than to let it go and try to recover it later. Relationships are work. They require an abundance of time and energy to maintain and grow them. You have to be as determined and strong-minded about investing in your marriage as you are about many of the other facets in your life such as your career, your hobbies, or even other family members. Thus, develop and keep what you already have rather than let it fade away and struggle to restore it later. Tip: It’s not what you say, but how you say it. This is one of the biggest communication faux pas’ that couples experience. A statement can be made to your spouse and because of your tone, body language, attitude, and overall approach what you accurately said did not line up with what was heard or perceived by your spouse. Poor nonverbal communication can lead your spouse to misconstrue what is being said. Be mindful that communication is both verbal and nonverbal and each cannot coexist without the other.