Be Well

As with all the dimensions of health and wellness, relational health starts within one's own self, then emanates to others. Succinctly speaking, as many wise individuals have stated, you have to be happy alone, with yourself, before you can be happy with someone else. This knowledge does not only apply to intimate relationships, but to all relationships. Being confident and satisfied with the content of your whole being is a precursor to successfully engaging in any external relationship. This does not, in any way, support any form of individualism that creates a false sense of fulfillment ("I am happy with Jesus alone"; "It's all about me"; "As long as I have God, I don't need anyone else"). God, Who is Father, Son, and Spirit, is One and exist in perfect relationship. I will not endeavor to explain how the Triune God is three and/in one, because the point is that if anyone could live alone and be fulfilled, it would be God --but He lives as He created and expects us to live, which is in relationship. You must first engage yourself. Stop having love affairs with yourself --loving and leaving who you are over and over again. Vow to wed your thoughts and philosophies, your beliefs and faiths, your dreams and aspirations, 'til death do you part. This is not to become stubborn or set in your ways. As you have already learned, you will change. However, this concept is to allow yourself to transform as you mature and grow in wisdom and truth, not to change because you are trying to keep or develop poor relationships. Grow because you are truly growing (not just changing, but growing with the changes), rather than allowing those around you and the relationships you value to decide your growth. Additionally, we all have things about ourselves that we do not like. So, change them. Part of the engagement is to stop making excuses for your behaviors, thoughts, or whatever you consider to be unbecoming, and to accept them as yours. Too often, we allow fault to fall on the things our parents, spouses, and/or others did or did not do for us. Acknowledge the sociological factors for what they are, and then embrace who you are in light of your past and/or present environment. By embracing your total being, you then denounce blame and accept your role as C.E.O. of your choices. A C.E.O. is a Chief Executive Officer of a business or organization. The C.E.O. is responsible for all the decisions and the direction of the business. Even if the C.E.O. allows another person to make decisions for him or her, the C.E.O. is still responsible for that decision and its outcomes, good or bad. This is true with you and I, too! We are to make decisions and determine the direction of our lives, and, even if we leave it up for someone else to do (blaming the past or giving away the authority in the present), we are still responsible for our own lives. Regarding the things you dislike, work through them not around them. Working around areas of discontent is quite possibly the downfall of numerous relationships, including one of the most important relationships--the one with yourself.