Anonymous Sins…A Memoir

The front door slammed and startled me for a slight second until I quickly realized it was Adam, that tall, chocolate brown man I once fell in love with, my husband of now six years. In the past he was always so attentive to my every whim and need. He had always wined and dined me in a manner that could only be understood by a queen. Every night, a single red rose greeted me when he came home, but it all came to a sudden stop two years ago. His actions were now directed to me as if I owed him for his attention and wealth. This was not the issue, since we had a prenuptial agreement before we were married. I had a good amount of money saved from my days as CEO and from the insurance policy I was paid for from the death of my parents. In my eyes, our real issue was the lack of sexual penetration in our marriage .This was the “giant RED elephant in the room”. I always suspected him having an affair with his secretary Janet because they were closer than two friends should ever be, but to their defense, I knew they had a childhood history that ran deeper than I could ever imagine. Also, Adam had a sexual handicap very different than what many men suffered from. His condition was very unusual. He had no choice but to keep it a secret, so the typical affair between a husband and his secretary could never exist between the two of them. “Daddy, Daddy, your home!" screamed Sara. She immediately she told him about how her sister was not being nice to her. One thing was for sure, Adam was a good father and the twins were daddy's little girls and he loved them dearly. "Rain”, Adam shouted, in his most sarcastic tone he often used with me. He continued shouting angrily, "What is going on with my girls?”. I hated his disposition; I cut my eyes sharply at him as if they were throwing knives. I refused to back down and shouted back at him, "Kids will be kids Adam, they are five years old and they will have disagreements!" I stood up from the table and stormed my way up the stairs to our bedroom suite to relax in my Jacuzzi and zone my mind out until it was time for Adams' "pampering" session to begin. This was our nightly routine when Adam was home and not off buying real estate on Wednesdays and Thursdays of every week. Adam wanted our family time to be free of hassle so he had it all planned as a routine. His quality time with the girls was right before dinner and mine was when he retired to our suite. We were special customers of Sylvia's soul food restaurant in Harlem which delivered our meals weeknights. Adam proposed marriage to me at Sylvia's on a Saturday evening in the month of June. He was so debonair in the way Adam captured my heart that special night. I always ordered the fried catfish, collard greens and potato salad and for dessert I had sweet potato pie with lots of cool whip. He always teased me about the amount of cool whip I always asked for so he surprised me with a five carat diamond platinum ring on the slice of pie instead of the cool whip that night. Adam asked me to become his wife and “top off his life ". The waitress placed it in front of me on the table at the same time he was speaking to me. My eyes welled with tears of joy because Adam was my handsome knight, but he was rapidly becoming my ugly “knight-mare”.