Chapter 2 - First few weeks of pregnancy - morning sickness
Having dreamt of having a child for so many years and with six young nephews and nieces, I had many preconceived ideas about what pregnancy and motherhood would actually involve. According to the films, pregnancy is just amazing. You feel a magical bond with your unborn baby immediately; after all you have desperately wanted this child. However I rapidly began to feel nauseous which somehow weakened the `magical bond' that I was `supposed' to feel. With every opening of the fridge I felt incredibly poorly, making functioning at home more than just a little challenging. As for the dishwasher - I could not even deal with the clean plates and bowls, let alone when the dishwasher was full of dirty dishes! The smell was, to put it plainly, repulsive.
I had read the books about morning sickness; some people suffer badly and are very sick, but others are blessed and never experience any sickness. But no one really explained to me that there is neither rhyme nor reason that can explain which smells and tastes can trigger nausea. Having gone from being an obsessively clean and tidy woman who always wanted to get things done swiftly, I became someone reliant on my husband to open the fridge and get out the specific contents that I wanted or needed. This certainly did not fit in with my `magical' vision of pregnancy.
Suddenly I found myself to be incapable of making a cup of tea; friends and family were welcome to pop over for a cuppa as long as they were prepared to make it themselves, unless of course they were happy with black tea or coffee that did not involve opening the fridge. I guess an alternative would have been to use `coffee mate', but I imagine the smell of that would also have been pretty nauseating.
There were a fair few mornings when I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom to be (excuse the crudeness) sick. I am not one who is good at being sick - I do not believe many people are, but I am certainly bad at it. Ironically I am fine about being violently sick if I have an allergic reaction to a nut. My allergy to nuts is incredibly severe and I can react very badly to what can only be described as an invisible trace. During my pregnancy I was petrified of having such a reaction. Whilst pregnant you are not generally advised to take antihistamines, which are the only thing that can help to reduce the severity of my allergic reactions. To be fair, if I were to have had a reaction whilst pregnant, the chance of successfully keeping an antihistamine down was very slight indeed, so I guess I need not have been overly worried.
There was one very unfortunate morning before Christmas when I was ten weeks pregnant, and just could not make it to the cloakroom in time. Instead I had to select the kitchen sink - horrendous for my poor husband, Paul, to clear up. You can imagine how I felt when our neighbour opposite, once mentioned that he thought he had seen me throw up in the kitchen sink. How embarrassing. I laughed it off knowing that there was a very strong chance he just might have seen me chucking up in our sink as he was preparing his own breakfast. Nice! Luckily my behaviour clearly did not offend him too much and he thankfully still speaks to us.
Sadly I have not got any more mature or capable at dealing with sickness, and now resort to spraying Edward with a little perfume if he is even the slightest bit sick. Thankfully he is not a very `sicky' baby and so fortunately Edward does not spend much of his life smelling like a girl; I do not think Paul would be too impressed if our son permanently smelt of perfume, and I am not prepared to spray myself with aftershave, so hopefully his good health will continue.
With regard to morning sickness, worse was yet to come... Marmite, my previously could not live without store cupboard ingredient, was suddenly the worst thing imaginable! I could not stand the look, taste, smell or anything about it. It just made me want to vomit. When Paul and I first met he hated the stuff and I loved it. If I had Marmite for breakfast in the mornings, Paul could never kiss me goodbye as he loathed the smell and taste of it on my lips and toothpaste never seemed to cut the biscuit at removing it. I never truly understood just how repulsive it was for him until my pregnancy when I can honestly say, for the first time (and hopefully the last) I actually hated kissing my husband. I was expecting his baby, but never wanted to kiss him goodbye after his Marmite breakfast. Luckily he did not take too much offence!
Having spent all day at work feeling pretty rough, I would come home and vegetate tentatively on the sofa, still feeling nauseous until I hit my new discovery - caviar! Paul was relieved to hear that it was not the extortionately priced real `Beluga caviar', but instead the cheaper, run of the mill `lumpfish caviar'. The new staple store cupboard item had arrived. Sadly we could not buy this new store-cupboard ingredient from our local supermarket and so it required lots of visiting special supermarkets and bulk buying. I must have looked slightly psychotic, or rich, at the checkout stacking up on five pots of the stuff, a pint of milk and some bread.
Quite why I could not live without this bizarre item I have no idea. First thing in the morning or last thing at night, caviar would always sort me out. Still, they say you may have strange cravings and caviar was certainly mine.