Somerset Dreams

‘Silence please, Chiko, Magic Pumpkins’ said Delia, loudly. ‘This is no longer a laughing matter. Today, we are here to help our colleague’, she gazed around the field looking at the round orange faces, ‘who happens to be very, very, sick. And’ she nodded authoritatively, whilst drawing a deep breath, ‘will feel far worse if she has to see her vet, Doctor Sort U. Out.’ The silence lasted for a brief thirty seconds, when muffled giggling started up at the back of the field, led by an extraordinarily large pumpkin with a gruff voice. ‘Mischa - silence please pumpkins, and Chiko - to relieve yourself of your pain, you must perform an act, trick or dance, perhaps even sing, to each and every pumpkin in this field.’ She nodded to Mischa and smiled to the pumpkins. ‘Wha, wha, what? Ehh ?’ cried Mischa, hardly able to believe her own ears. ‘There are hundreds of pumpkins in this field.’ ‘Hmm, yes I know’ said Delia, trying very hard to hide a snigger. Chiko was in stitches. He placed his wings over his beak in an attempt to control his laughter; but the harder he tried, the more he wanted to laugh. Eventually, he caved in and just rolled over and over in the grass in hoots of laughter and giggles. The Magic Pumpkins followed suit because it did not take much to make them laugh. ‘Hurry up, Mischa’ they cried out, together, ‘We can’t wait all day.’ There were shouts of encouragement, squeals of delight and guffaws, mixed in with wobbling pumpkin heads and stalks, rolling around in the grass. ‘No, no, no’ barked Mischa, furiously. ‘Oh, very well. I guess you want to see Doctor Sort U. Out’ said Delia. Mischa gave in, reluctantly, and began her performance. She balanced on her front paws, juggled five balls, and sang two verses of “How much is that doggy in the window”, followed by a cartwheel, a double somersault, and a mime of a drunken dog walking down the street. She was half way through her break-dance routine, which she copied from Mrs. Jennings’ talking, square box on legs, when she realised that everyone had erupted in laughter. The Magic Pumpkins, Chiko and Delia laughed so much that tears rolled down their faces. There were stalks, wings and paws in the air as they threw themselves around the grass and curled in hysteria. ‘How dare you laugh at me’ fumed Mischa, baring her teeth viciously. She put her paws on her hips and stared at them. ‘Mischa, calm down, tee-hee,’ they spluttered together. ‘Calm down? Calm down? Are you all mad?!’ barked Mischa. ‘We’ve never seen a dog perform a break-dance routine before,’ cried Chiko. ‘You were so funny, you should’ve seen yourself. Will you do it again? Pretty please? Perhaps in slow motion ? Please, Mischa!’ ‘No, no, no!’ barked the sheltie, angrily. She turned away from the pumpkins, Delia and Chiko, and stomped off. ‘April Fools Day!’ they sang out, together. Mischa turned around, red-faced, with a shocked expression on her little pointed face. She was absolutely horrified that she could have fallen for such a silly trick. ‘Why me?’ she panted at the field of laughing pumpkins. ‘Why me’ she grumbled to Delia. The others laughed so much that they could not even hear a word of what Mischa was saying. The pumpkins hopped over the field, bouncing on their heads, pulling faces at each other and giving loud whoops and cheers. Delia caterwauled so loudly, and in such an unladylike fashion, that even Mischa had to see the funny side of things. She lay down in the sweet scented grass, rolled onto her back and churned her paws in the air, laughing and giggling. After everyone had settled down, and the last tears wiped away, Mischa stood up and said, ‘What about my tummy ache?’ ‘It’s gone’ replied Delia. ‘So it has!’ said a euphoric Mischa, ‘And I didn’t even notice!’ ‘It’s amazing what laughter can do for you’ said the cat, wisely. ‘Mission accomplished!’ cheered Chiko. Mrs. Jennings opened the back door, squinted her grey eyes and peered across the garden. There she saw the golden brown sheltie run the length of the garden up to her Human-Being pet. ‘Shall Oi take you to Doctor Sortuite?’ enquired Mrs. Jennings, with a puzzled look on her face. ‘No!’ barked Mischa, rolling over twice and then jumping up and down with conviction. ‘Well, suppose there’s no need fer you ta see the vet today. Still can’t believe yer feelin’ better; eh, never mind. You’ve certainly perked up this afternoon. Maybe yer had a nice long nap. Whatever happened to yer, why, it’s just like magic.’ ‘Yes! Yes!’ barked Mischa. ‘Magic! Magic! Thank Delia for magic cos now I don't have to see that stupid Human-Bean.’