Instructions Not Included

It all starts with a small plus sign on the pregnancy test; such a small symbol, and yet big enough to let you know your life is about to change. Radically. You’re having a baby!!! Although you know your life is about to change, you really have no idea how profoundly. You’re about to embark on the most exhilarating, frustrating, joyful, rewarding, frantic, hilarious, loving, messy, exhausting, euphoric, amazing journeys of your life. Isn’t it funny how you can expect to receive a hundred-page manual when you buy any item from Best Buy; how you have to write a test and pass a practical to get your driver’s license; how you have to be a certain age to vote; and yet you’re allowed to have a human with no real prerequisites (other than an egg, a sperm, and maybe a margarita) and when you leave the hospital, they hand you this teeny tiny little leaflet and send you on your way. That’s it! There are books written by pediatricians, child psychologists, “life experts”, baby whisperers, and celebrity moms. This book is none of those. This book is written by a mom, for moms. This book is not going to tell you how to do things perfectly. It is not going to tell you a fail-proof way of getting your baby to sleep by age one month (sorry); nor will I show you a way to lose all the baby weight and then some in four months flat. This book is not going to tell you that you have to swaddle your baby, or how long you need to nurse, or whether or not you should let your baby sleep in a swing. I’m no expert, but I am a Mom, and a Mom of three, at that. I had three children in two years and ten months. No multiples. My vocabulary is chock-full of baby talk. I care about the ingredients of my cleaning products. I know I look nuts when I talk to my newborn the entire time I’m in the grocery store, but I do it anyway. I know which laundry detergents get out poop and spit up stains best. I can suss out any stroller and all its features with a quick glance. I know who Julie Clark, Harvey Karp, William Sears, and Tracy Hogg are. I know what AP, and CIO stand for (you will too by the end of this book) I spend an inordinate amount of time in yoga wear. Whether you got pregnant by accident, or have spent years (and your savings) on fertility treatment, pregnancy and motherhood will change you forever. Prepare for your world to be rocked! I’ve been there, and I’m here to share it with you. Motherhood is possibly the only endeavor during which you can feel joy, sorrow, fear, excitement, frustration, and love simultaneously. Not many people can relate to this, except other moms. If you’re feeling these things, you’re not crazy – you’re a mom!! And I’m with you. I’m deep in the trenches. Sometimes I wish I could go back and talk to myself when I was a new mom. Knowing what I do now, knowing what I went through then; I feel like I could be a guiding big sister to myself back then. I want to give her a big hug and say “You’re doing great!” That’s a big reason I wrote this book. I also write to maintain myself, and my sanity. I write to remember. I write so that one day I can give this book to my daughter, when motherhood is upon her and she needs someone to turn to. It’s evidence. A memoir. What we’ve been through as a family; what I’ve been through as a woman. A few passages of this book have been typed with one hand, while the other hand holds a baby. Sometimes I write standing up, while I sway back and forth comforting some tears. Most of it has been written during sacred nap time. My goal for this book is to explore parenthood with honesty, empathy and humour. I’ll bypass as many clichés as I can. Through my experiences, successes, trials, challenges, and embarrassing confessions; from the magical to the maddening, I’m here to try and help you sift through some of motherhood’s stickiest of topics. I’m here to try and help you feel good about your parenting decisions, and tap into your (probably very quiet at first) Gut Feeling and Intuition, and reassure you that just by doing the best you can, makes you a good mom. I want this book to reassure moms out there that you are not alone, whatever you’re going through, moms have gone through before you, and will continue to endlessly. We’re all part of a giant club, which ties us all together. It took me a while to stop feeling like an imposter in this club, like a fraud. It took me a while to realize that feeling that way was part of the rite of passage. Hopefully I can also entertain you along the way, and most importantly be a reassuring voice of reason along this journey of motherhood…where instructions are not included.