100 Monologues, Scenes and One Acts

Excerpt from the One Act play A SHADE OF RED included in this collection

MAGDA Forgive me, Father for I have sinned. It has been twenty-seven years since my last confession.

PRIEST You don’t look so old.

MAGDA Yes, well. You see, Father, that's the thing. I'm only twenty-two and I've never physically confessed my sins before. I've never even been baptized.

PRIEST I don't understand.

The lights go down on Magda’s half of the stage and they come up on the table and chair. RUTGER enters in a huff. MEG enters shortly afterwards.

RUTGER I thought I told you to clean my boots last night before you went to bed. Now the mud’s all dried to dirt.
(MEG goes to take the boots from him)
No! No use in you doing it now. I've got it. I got it! All this dried mud… mud, cow crap, blood all dried on my boots. Didn’t I tell you about it last night?
(MEG shakes her head)
Well, I was trudging through a cow field in the rain. We got a call that someone was decapitating cows out on Chester's land. And sure as eggs is eggs we get out there, me and Dayton, and what do we see but an elderly man (must have been eighty years old or something) wearing a trench coat. And I'll tell you, Meg, I don't think he had anything on under that coat. Well, there's no thinking required in all actuality. I'll tell yah he was stark naked underneath and you couldn't tell all the time, but you could tell enough that it was indecent and disturbing. So we get up there— I say “up there” 'cause Chester's land is rather hilly—get me a wet cloth for this darn thing!

The lighting switches, MEG exits.

MAGDA I mean to say Father, I've never been to no proper confession or even inside a church aside from my cousin's wedding, last Spring.

PRIEST What brings you here, now?

MAGDA I'm getting to the explanation about that, Father. I feel the need first, to have you understand that this ain't like me, you understand? I don't confess sins. I don't believe in sins. Well, I recognize the urges, but I don't see them as being so evil. That being said, I want to tell you I don't believe in god.

PRIEST We often find the need to seek his guidance nonetheless.

MAGDA I'm not the one seeking the guidance. Please let me explain!

PRIEST I'm thinking you'd better my child.

The lights switch again.

RUTGER So, as I was sayin’, we get up there to the top of this here hill (in the rain, remember) and there’s this old man wavin’ around a sword! He’s screamin’ he’s a wizard or something.’ He’s yellin’ at the top of his lungs that he’s cursed the field and cursed the town and everyone in the world is doomed. At his feet are all of these dead, headless cows that I was presumin’ he was the killer of. Dayton and me, well, we didn’t need to be part of the scenario for long for us already to be sick of it. So, we drew our guns and I did the talkin.’ I said “Sir, you will put your weapon down on the ground and put your hands on your head.” He was gibbering about Satan and hell and other darned things, and didn’t pay my words no mind. So I said, “Sir!” (much sterner, this time) “Sir! I am not about to climb up this hill to make you heed my warning. I’m fixin’ to shoot you dead if you don’t listen good.” And you know what the crazy geezer does? He throws down the sword and before we hurry up to him he de-robes and drops to his knees. For a brief moment, we’re both dumbfounded by his old, sickly, saggy nakedness. And wouldn’t you know it, he only needed that one second to pick up his shotgun that was laying on one of them dead cows. Old-timer even got a shot off. Well, Dayton hit the deck. But me? I went into autopilot. Put two in his bare, naked chest without thinkin’ twice.

The lights dim on RUTGER and come up on Magda’s side.

MAGDA I believe—I know I’ve got something inside that isn’t me, Father. Like possession… or more like subletting.

PRIEST Subletting?

MAGDA Yes, Father, I feel as though… I mean to say… a woman is sharing my body. A woman’s spirit is sharing my body for a time. And she has made it clear that she can’t have peace until her unfinished business is… well… finished.

PRIEST And that unfinished business is?

MAGDA To confess her sins.

PRIEST My child, this is not how these proceedings usually run. I am sorry but I only take the confessions of the living. The devil cannot bend the will of the true devotees. I suggest you find god yourself. Then and only then will you be able to rid yourself of—

MAGDA Please Father! This is all she wants. I need you to do this for me. I can’t sleep. I can’t work. She’s with me every moment. And little things are different. I feel like a tramp if I put on too much makeup… and I keep putting on these bandanas! I hate them. I don’t know how much of me is her… but I know, I can’t be completely myself until she’s gone. Please, help. Even if I’m not a Christian… even if I don’t believe in god… even if I’m crazy! Is it so much that you help me? Please.

(Continued on page 12 from the collection)