Fireclaw
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The weary travellers climbed the tallest tree they could find and rested in its high branches. Dark turned to dusk and Holly and Zark dozed with exhaustion. Ping required no sleep at the moment, so decided to climb to the very top of the tree to get a better view of the landscape. There was very little to see and the jungle appeared to stretch on forever. However, a short distance away he could see what appeared to be the top of two masts. He clambered back down the tree to the others and shook them awake. “I think I’ve spotted where the cluster of life forms are,” he said. Zark and Holly stretched and yawned and stared at him blearily. “That’s wonderful, but it’s hardly something to hum about,” Zark yawned. “Hum? I’m not humming,” “Well, someone is,” Holly chipped in. Looking around, Holly noticed a large hollow in the trunk just above their heads. “Sounds like giant bees or something,” said Ping. “I bloody knew it!” Zark exclaimed triumphantly. “Just calm down,” said Holly, “if we shimmy down the trunk we might not attract their attention.” Zark and Ping nodded in agreement and they began the slow descent down the trunk. They nervously made their way from branch to branch attempting to minimize any noise. “Oh, wait a minute, I had better turn my pain receptors back on so I don’t burst into flames again,” said Ping. He discretely lifted the cover of his crotch to flick the switch and continued the descent. Holly reached the base of the trunk first and landed gracefully on the grass. Zark followed suit and they waited expectantly for Ping. He elected to jump backwards and landed clumsily on a thorn. “Mother F…!” he squeaked clenching his fists. He lifted his foot and pulled the thorn out wincing. “Don’t yell,” whispered Holly. Ping nodded silently and pressed his foot down. “Nope sorry. AAARGH!” The tree suddenly vibrated with the sound of angry buzzing. Giant bees began swarming from the hole in the trunk zoning straight onto the group. “I hate this place!” groaned Zark. As the angry bees began their quick descent, the group sped off into the jungle, the portable computer beeping noisily from Holly’s trouser pocket. “We must be close to the intelligent life,” she said, and it did appear that they were running towards a clearing. The bees were now hovering just above the group’s heads, swiping at them with their legs. Holly was the first into the clearing and Zark and Ping momentarily lost sight of her. When they cleared the trees they found her standing still and staring straight ahead. Nestled in the clearing was what appeared to be an 18th century galleon with cannons bristling from the gun-ports along its side. “This just gets weirder and weirder,” said Ping. Suddenly the bees cleared the treetops and dived towards the exposed group. As if from nowhere large nets wrapped around several of the bees followed by wooden harpoons. The bees not captured turned back towards the jungle. From the nearby trees, cries of ‘Ahar’ and ‘Matey’ were heard and a band of rough-looking pirates propelled down from the treetops. They sauntered towards their kill and from amongst the crowd someone ordered, “Take these buggers back to the ships, mates. We’ll be dining well tonight.” The pirates lifted the dead bees above their heads and carried them towards the ship. The man leading the pirate gang sauntered towards Holly, Zark and Ping. He was a short, stocky man with a vast bushy beard and a flamboyant sense of style. He walked with a slight limp owing to his plastic leg which Holly was surprised to note had a dead fish floating in it. “Salutations, Mateys. I’m Cap’n Argh.” He extended a grubby hand, which the group stared at in distaste. “Sorry, I haven’t had a wash in many a day. Allow me to introduce meself properly. Cap’n James Whitmore Earl Seymour Argh III esq. at your service. This is my ship, The Patsy, and those fine fellows are the Jolly Ritas.” Zark quirked an eyebrow, “Ritas?” “Aye, Rogers was taken.” There was an awkward silence and Cap’n Argh smoothed the lacy cuffs of his shirt. “Anyhow, come aboard The Patsy and ye can tell me all about your travels.” He motioned for them to follow him and after glancing nervously at each other they did so.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
The crew aboard the space cargo ship Fireclaw have been charged with a mission by Ping N-Q-KED-NZR, robot king of the Ping Dynasty, to help him in his mission to locate and retrieve super-weapon H.E.R.P.E.S. On their way they encounter many foes, including a crew of space pirates, headed by the flamboyant Cap'n Argh, Raxicon ship The Eagle III, an ex colleague, and, eventually, H.E.R.P.E.S. itself. The crew includes Holly Wallace, the somewhat girly, but ever-fearless pilot, Zark Zimpson, the egg-headed alien navigator, Rock Huffman, the large but cowardly weapons officer, and George, a Mew from feline planet Miaow. On their journey they encounter swamp planet Festerus, a space-station possessed by the devil, space-pirate ship The Patsy, cat planet Miaow, finally ending with an epic battle on-board the Eagle III. They discover more about each other than ever before, and two members of the crew find romance in unlikely situations. Fireclaw is a comedy novel about war, peace, robots and giant bipedal cats.
About the Author
Charles Backer is a 20-year old first-time writer living in South East England. His interests include browsing the internet, making small animations for his family and friends and writing absurd stories to satisfy his hunger for storytelling.
About Fireclaw he says:
"I started writing this book as a way to keep myself occupied on the days when there was nothing to do. It very quickly turned into something much more before eventually consuming my life like a hostile sentient blancmange. It was still fun the write though."