She Couldn’t a Been More Scared Than if
She’d a Been Standin' Bare-assed in a Nest of Rattlers
Between 1992 and 1994, I became involved in a distance-learning program through the University of Phoenix. I was working days at the powerhouse, working our ranch on the weekends (doing only what had to be done), and studying at night and every spare moment that was available. One extremely cold winter night, I was studying while the wife went to bed. It was about 11:00 pm when there was a knock at the window. I was sitting at the dining room table about three feet away from this window.
Allow me once again to digress, just to set the stage. We live about ten miles from town; there are no streetlights out here, and when it gets dark, it gets very dark. This knock on my window came from an individual who had lost her way, gotten her car stuck in a ditch, and walked down the road about a half-mile in minus twenty degree weather in tennis shoes. She saw a light coming from a window and made a straight line for that light. To get to this lighted window, she had to walk through about twenty inches of snow and climb over two fences. She also stepped in a drainage ditch, breaking through snow-covered ice into very cold water that made her already cold feet even colder.
When I looked up from my work, I saw the most pathetic individual I think that I have ever seen. I use this term not because of the person, but because of the situation that she found herself in. Through the window, she pleaded, “Can you help me?” Needless to say, I brought her into the house and placed her by the coal stove, which was still burning. She began to tell me about her situation, and then, out of nowhere, she said, “No one lives out here.” The remainder of the story is pretty well explained in “Why Do You Live Out Here?”
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Why do you live out here?
The wife said, “I’m goin’ to bed;” she asked “how long until you’re done?”
“We’ve got checks missing from this report and so far I’ve just found one.”
I was just about to turn out the light and head upstairs when I heard a quiet tap.
Standing outside my window was frozen misery and this gal had lost her cap.