Bridging the Gap of Faith
A Nice Jewish Girl's Journey to Find the Messiah
by
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It was at the company Christmas party in 1990 that all the guys I worked with said I was the “hottest babe” there. I was a 5'4”, size 8 brunette, wearing a midnight blue velvet off-the-shoulder dress that hugged my body until the crinoline kicked in and bowed out to just below the knee. I had spent the day at the hair salon getting the full treatment---hair, makeup, and manicure. I felt like a princess that night. But I was still dateless.
I had been dating Tom for a few months when he accompanied me to my company's service awards banquet. It was the first time in many years I had brought a man to a company function of any kind. I found out early in my career that bringing what some thought was the “date of the month” to a function set the married tongues wagging. So I went by myself and kept my personal life personal. Plus, being the only female on staff was challenging enough. But I was head over heels in love with Tom, who had been divorced for six months when we met. After the banquet, we drove back downtown, where we both lived, and stopped at his apartment in Old Town to drop off his car before we walked around the corner to a neighborhood piano bar for a drink. When he kissed me, it was electric between us. Chills ran up and down my body, giving me goose bumps. Tom noticed and asked, “Are you cold?” "No,” I responded. "But you have goose bumps.” I was not very good at communicating my feelings, especially with a man. I had built a wall over many years to keep people out, and it was a very good wall---a thick brick wall no one could get through. But I felt I could be open with Tom, so I decided to take a chance and tell him the truth. "It's you, Tom. You give me goose bumps when you kiss me.” With those words, I watched him melt before my eyes and knew the feelings were mutual. I could see it in his eyes. But he stopped calling me shortly thereafter. I was devastated. To this day, I don't know what happened. This was the man I was beginning to think I could marry. Everything about him was right, even our careers. We were both in Sales. I was a sales manager, and he was a manufacturers' rep, so we even understood each other's work-related issues. But, I think our feelings were too intense too quickly, and it scared him after his recent divorce. Scared him to the point that he left without a word. So I did my usual and stuffed my emotions, putting another brick on my wall. Tom was supposed to go to the Christmas party with me that December evening in 1990. So there I was, the princess at the ball without her prince. Why do I tell you this story? It is because Tom created a deep wound inside of me, one of the deepest I had ever known. My history of not opening up to guys usually made them leave. But I always knew it was my fault because I stayed behind my wall and refused to let anyone in. Here, I took a chance and let Tom in, and he left me anyway. What I did not know at the time was that this breakup and my relocation to Rochester the following year were the beginning of the downward spiral leading me to a June Saturday in Chicago when I reached the bottom.
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About the Book
Brenda, a nice Jewish girl from Baltimore, climbs the corporate ladder, relocating from city to city. Along the way, she tries to fill the emptiness in her life through a series of love affairs that only add more and more bricks to the wall she built around her heart. Persevering, she remembers God's promise to her and never loses hope that her prince is out there somewhere. She finally finds Him in the last person she ever expected.
About the Author
Brenda Fried is the author of a variety of industry articles that appeared in major foodservice magazines. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, she currently resides in Shreveport, Louisiana, with her dog Mollie. Bridging the Gap of Faith is her first book.