Determine Your Ideal

Several years ago I experienced a paradigm crash—everything in my life shattered into more than a million little pieces—following the death of Justin, my youngest child at the time. Almost every decision that my husband and I made seemed wrong. After months of grief counseling, years of spiritual and personal development, a circle of phenomenal friends who refused to give up on me and, faith that their was more that I could offer; I began to reevaluate my life and my values. In order for me to move forward I knew I had to determine a new ideal for my life and the process had to start right where I was—with me. “Who am I” I asked myself, “Who do I want to become?”

I had to determine a new ideal for my life. A determined ideal is much bigger than a goal, although goals are instrumental in reaching your ideal. A determined ideal is a clear, multi-dimensional, holographic picture you hold in your mind’s eye of who you are, how you want to live your life combined with a gradient and strategic life plan to help you to make good on your ideal.  So few people have a clear picture of how they want their life to play out. But I am telling you the truth; without a determined ideal we can lose our power. It becomes fragmented and dispersed into insignificant tasks, resulting in a whole lot of busy-ness that adds up to nothing! Slipping through your fingers like sand.

Because we are spiritual beings, wives, mothers, sisters, husbands, fathers, brothers and friends; we are professionals, entrepreneurs and community leaders; we must determine our values and set up a paradigm from which to play our game of life. So many areas of our lives are important to us, but what do you really value? How do you want your life to flow? Your inner essence is waiting to express itself fully—it is waiting for you, darling—to unfold into your best-balanced life. Your real life.  The life you were born to live.

During the darkest time of my life what I missed most was laughter; and the lack of it was destroying me and my family. My prayer was, “Please God, Just Let Me Laugh Again!” And once I allowed myself to actually laugh out loud I started getting my life-energy back. The

laughter actually started to increase my energy level and bring my power back to me.  I was finally able to “Be Present” again. I started getting out of my head and back into my life. I desperately wanted and needed to position myself to live an exciting and meaningful life again. So I purposefully set out to determine a new and meaningful life-game to play.

You see, my husband and I experienced a “paradigm” or “matrix” crash after Justin’s swimming pool accident, which means the end of a particular life game; a loss that is so painful and devastating that it causes your whole world to collapse. Your “set-up” or model for your life no longer works the way you designed it to work and in many situations (and most certainly for me) you can spiral down into a deep depression and out of control. Some even snap. But you don’t have to live the rest of your life in that collapsed world. You can learn to laugh again and, gradiently and systematically get your life-energy back. You can, darling, and you must.

Another good thing is that no matter where you are in life right now, no matter how high or low you may be resonatin