Her eyes were a bright blue and she was beautiful, but she had that look on her face of starvation. She was holding a little girl in her arms and we made eye contact. Have you ever looked hunger in the eyes? Have you ever witnessed starvation personally? I never had but I saw it in this young lady and her little girl. They were not begging, they were starving. Have you ever experienced that severe and nauseous pain in your stomach that won't go away and almost doubles you over? Then as you get thinner and thinner your body seems almost accustomed to the nagging pain from within and you learn to live with it. And then your body just quits, shuts down from the lack of nourishment. This mother and her child look like they have that hopeless hunger and a feeling of despair, and faith that somehow, someone will reach out. Someone will recognize that look of starvation that is in their eyes. Someone, anyone, will have compassion on them. I used to have a rule. You don't give money away to people begging. In America you can have a job if you want one, and we have many programs and organizations that reach out to people. So that was my rule, don't give money to beggars. From Sveta and Lana herself I started to learn many things about Lana and her life here in Russia. She lived in a northern city in Russia, no tourists, no jobs and a very poor, no, extremely poor environment. Lana had a daughter Alyona, who was just six years old. Times were very tough in the new Russia at the time of the Soviet collapse. People valued food over money. There was a severe shortage of food so money did not make a difference, as there was no food to buy. She told me of a story of how she had to explain to her little girl one morning, that this was the only milk they had, and they split the only piece of bread they had in two. She let her daughter have the only bit of milk left. That was it, no more food. Lana said she and her daughter were so hungry they would go to the window of the store and just look in the front window and stare at the bread. She gazed at the window trying to taste the bread and imagine what it would be like to have a slice, not a loaf, just one more slice to split between her and her small child. As she gazed at the bread she looked up at herself in the glass and saw her reflection in the window. She could almost not believe her eyes. She saw two people, her and her daughter. She saw that look of starvation. It was the look of hopelessness that grips your soul and doesn't let go. It was all she could do to fight back the tears. Her only thought was that someone might come by and see that look in their eyes and realize they were starving. Maybe someone would reach out. Maybe someone would have mercy. Maybe someone would care. Maybe someone, somehow would show compassion on both of them. Lana contemplated suicide. She has no marketable skills to earn a wage that could support her and her child and the future looked grim with no escape. Prostitution was not an option for Lana although she did not judge those that took that option which were many. Suicide would provide that way of escape for her. But what would happen to her daughter Alyona? She would end up in those same orphanages we spoke about in chapter one with the vicious cycle happening all over again. But Lana's little child came to mind as she was taking her life and luckily came to her senses in time to get help as she thought of the dismal future her precious little girl would have without a mother to help and be there for her. The scar on her wrist is a reminder of the brutal Russian life and the toll on its people. Lana can recall stories of families who had to make a decision to put a newborn baby in a room separate from the current family members. They would leave the windows open, in the dead of winter so the baby would fall asleep and freeze to death, as another mouth to feed would mean someone there now would have to die from a shortage of food. For them it was the most merciful thing they could do. They did not want the newborn to have to survive like they had to. So as the emotion of a merciful death in their minds take over they realize that someone must die for others to survive. These are not fabricated stories. It was that bad. As you read this try not to judge, but to understand. Lana told me that she has never forgotten what she looked like in that reflection coming back to her in the store window. She never forgot that look of starvation, of hopelessness. She promised herself that if she ever saw that look in someone else she would not pass by without doing something. She would not pass by without reaching out. She would never walk by without having mercy, without caring, without making sure they had enough to at least buy that piece of bread.
