Divorce in the Upper Room

There are so many emotions that come into play when you are in the midst of a divorce, not to mention the ones that come months after the judge has signed his name and made you single again. Shock, anger, worthlessness, anxiety, denial, and depression are some of the most common ones. Some people say that there is an order in which these feelings will come. I say there is no order; you may relive several of them or you may experience more than one at the same time. I can assure you that the first couple of times you feel them, they are very intense. I want you to also realize that these feelings can last for days. There is nothing wrong with them. It is okay to feel them, embrace them, and find the real root for them.

            The first feeling I got was one of shock. I had waited until I was twenty-seven years old to get married. I was married to a man who would do anything to make his marriage work, or so I thought. I thought there was nothing we could not handle. We were going to do great things for the Kingdom of God. I was totally sold out to him, our marriage, and to God. So when he came to me and said he wanted a divorce, I said, “A WHAT?” Inwardly I thought, “Man, you must be on drugs!” I was knocked off my feet, literally. We had been in Atlanta less than three years. I had given up everything that was important to me to follow what I thought was my purpose in life. My mission was to compliment my husband. I thought I had all the goods for being a good preacher’s wife. I was a social worker by profession (with a master’s degree), was personable, a good speaker, a singer, and knew the Word. Some of the older people in my family had prophesied that I was going to marry a preacher. Now, me getting a divorce, it was unthinkable. Besides, what would people think.