What's Wrong with US, U.S., U.$?

As a society we have seemed to give up on creative discipline. It seems to me that discipline in the home and in the school is administered for the benefit of the one administering the discipline. By the home I mean in the family. I see parents discipline their children in public once in a while and it is easy to see that it is a foreign subject to them. The parent is usually angry and nearing their wit’s end when they begin to argue with the child as though reason is going to cure the problem. The parent may beg or plead or threaten. Rarely today do you see any parent physically chastise their child. I have seen parents take their child outside away from prying eyes and can only suspect that there is some type of physical persuasion being administered. Discipline should be an everyday concern for a parent. Discipline should be administered with planning. Organization is discipline. As a supervisor in the Police Department, the officers in my platoon were to be on time and were scheduled for their lunch break at a certain time and had to patrol their sectors exclusively. If they were late, spent more time than they should on lunch break, or worse, were riding or walking somewhere outside of the area they were assigned, they were neglecting their duty. Since spanking was out of the question and I couldn’t cause everyone to be fired, creative discipline was necessary. A change of assignment, a no for a day off request, or worse, being a constant presence during their patrol hours was usually enough to make errant behavior reverse itself. I cannot say that officers never made me angry, but I can say that acting out of anger would have been a personal failure for me. As a parent I also tried to not respond out of anger. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t yell.

When I completed “Boot Camp” and service school, I was assigned to a Destroyer as a machinist mate. I worked in the Engine Room. The noise level in the Engine Room was never measured while I was in the Navy, but I can safely describe it as very noisy. If you wanted to speak to someone while at sea and the machinery was operating, it was necessary to have your face within a foot of the person you were speaking to and then yell at them. Needless to say after three years on the destroyer I had considerable volume. A loud voice is authoritative. There are times when yelling is appropriate and effective. Yelling requires no anger. A good yell gets the persons attention and usually quells an unwanted response.

In the Police Department I was assigned to the Canine Unit. Dog training is discipline of the highest order. Dogs understand some words in the sense that they respond to them. Dogs have a keen sense of smell and an even keener sense of emotion. Dogs recognize immediately a person who likes them and they know who is afraid of them. When I trained my dog (with the help of trainer) I learned to discipline with a word. Initially a physical act accompanied the word, but ultimately only the word was required. We trained on the words “no” and “good boy.” To further explain; initially, “no” was spoken simultaneously with tension on the collar, pulling the dog close and  then with the hand forcing the rear into a sitting position. After a while “no” made the dog stop what he was doing and come to my side and sit down. When the dog completed the movement to my side and sat down he received a good boy. My dog knew instinctively and from my actions that I loved him. While on patrol, the dog was a better partner than any human. He would unquestionable come to my aid. He had better senses of negative emotions than I did and made his presence known to anyone who harbored such thoughts. My dog always followed my commands. My children were another matter.

Unfortunately, our children are not dogs. We can’t control them 24/7 and we are not the only people that they ever have to listen to and be supervised by. However, thinking through a plan of discipline for your child is an important matter. You cannot wait until they anger you to decide that discipline is required. Family dinners have seemed to become a thing of the past. Dinners used to be an important element of discipline and they should be again. Children are taught the proper way to eat. The use of utensils, napkins, manners and courtesy are important parts of the dinner experience. When I was a child we sat down for dinner. First however, my sister and I had to complete our dinner chore. We alternated helping set the table and clearing the table. There was no deviation, it was our job. My sister and I helped to put the food on the table and no one ate until everyone was seated. We were required to say please when requesting that food be passed around the table. We never spoke with food in our mouths. Conversations were started and ended by our parents. In my life I was hit by my father on two occasions and both times I sorely deserved it. If dinner doesn’t work for you, you should find a way that enables you to be in charge and to gain the cooperation of your children. The sole thought should be of discipline.