Getting Along With People Is EASY!

I believe it is safe to say that a relationship is a relationship, is a relationship. In other words, when we strip away the responsibilities and obligations of marriage and the trappings of titles or status at work, one relationship with a human being is the same as any other. The obligations of the marriage vows or work responsibilities may color our outward reactions, but our initial feelings when trust is violated or respect is lost are the same. This is partly because we all have personalities that are formed by the joining of the DNA of our natural parents, with the traits, perceptions, and values gained through the experiences and events that occur during the course of our lives. In other words, approximately fifty percent of our personality is imparted to us naturally and unavoidably by our parents and the other fifty percent is learned. It is assumed by most experts that by the time we reach our mid to late teens, our values and behaviors will be set in our minds and only subtle changes are likely to occur from then until our eventual demise. I tend to favor that theory since in my second century on earth I view things in essentially the same way that I did in my first and second quarter centuries. I may take a slightly more reasoned view and think a little longer before passing judgment now, but for the most part I am motivated by the same things and I react in much the same fashion as I did when I was a young person. As I have all my life, I still get excited on Christmas morning. As I did when I was twenty, I still become impatient with slow drivers. I still become angry when my integrity is questioned and I still become annoyed when I whistle for my dog, Mikki and she looks up at me with a huge smile on her face that seems to say, “Not just now, Dad. I have things to sniff over here!” I don’t suppose I will ever feel differently about any of those situations. They are me. However, I recognize that I have the ability to amend my resulting behavior to something that is more palatable to others or more culturally acceptable. When I consciously decide to behave differently to a known stimulus, I am working my behavior muscles. In turn, they will improve over time just as the muscles in my biceps improve each time I lift weights. Eventually my mind will take on a mental form of muscle memory that will cause me to exercise better judgment every time I am faced with a situation that makes me uncomfortable. Exercising your behavior muscles is one of the best ways to make getting along with people easier. Think good thoughts; say good words; do good things.