My Child Won't Listen...and other early childhood problems

                                               INTRODUCTION                        

What makes this different from other books about parenting is the experience I bring to writing it. Teaching young children for more than thirty years has allowed me to connect with the lives of many families.  Every November and March when I complete another round of parent-teacher conferences, I think about the impact of parent-child relationships and the significance of my role as teacher in the social and emotional development of the children in my care.  Through the years I have been privileged to have parents confide in me and seek my counsel as a teacher, parent and stepparent.

Many years ago I worked with Faye Gerace, a friend and esteemed early childhood educator in The Early Language Program. Under the direction of Dr. Seymour Perlin, who conceived of the program, Faye and I worked with parents and their three-and-a-half-year-old children in a learning project together. Here, parents, together with younger siblings, stayed to observe and play with their children in a nursery school setting. What transpired was immediately discussed in the ongoing parent- discussion group. This unique setting gave me the opportunity to observe first-hand the interaction of parent and child and to foster positive changes through modeling behavior. I've always believed parenting is a skill that can be learned, and the result of this three-year, federally funded project proved that to be true.

In the years that followed, I matched parenting styles with the behavioral problems I saw in my first-grade and kindergarten classrooms. Teaching provided the ideal setting for observing many different child behaviors. I saw how children interacted with their peers and other adults, how they handled routines or the lack of them, and how some children enjoyed challenges while others were easily frustrated. I saw children who tested adult authority every chance they had, and others who behaved well even when provoked. I saw children who took care of their belongings and worked independently, while others needed constant adult supervision to function. Every day I watched and supported children as they worked and played.

In addition, parent-teacher conferences taught me why and how parents disciplined their children. Insights about child behavior developed as patterns emerged. The more I spoke with parents, the more I realized the enormous influence parents have on their children. As you read this book, these patterns will become clear. They will give you insight into why problems arise as well as the skills to fix them.

After obtaining my masters degree in counseling, I advised parents privately and conducted parenting workshops. My Child Won't Listen is a compilation of articles I wrote for Suburban Parenting News. Some articles have been reworked, and others have been added. I wanted to put together a book that would help parents live with kids and like it. Too often I've heard the frustration and seen the tears of parents trying to cope. "I thought," said a distraught mother of two boys, ages 5 and 3, "that being a mom would be fun. It hasn't been fun yet." Another mother confessed, "I haven't said this to anyone, but there are times when I think it would have been better not to have had children." Obviously, something has gone wrong to make parents feel this way.