The Nu Collitch Dickshunary

analization: an attempt to explain the nature of some phenomenon; an overall explanation of

My initial reaction on reading the following comment was that the student was hitting me with some kind of vulgar insult; but on second thought I think he was complimenting me (or maybe he is smarter than I give him credit for?).

            Your lecture presented a very good analization of the problem

            of poverty in the United States

betterize: to improve, enrich

Students often made-up words to express their thoughts. On the other hand, what better way to improve the quality of life for people in the poor countries than by implementing programs that have this as a primary goal? To wit:

            A primary goal of all national development programs is to betterize the life of the people.

constipation: a group of stars in a fixed pattern

Many of the misuses or misspellings I encountered caused a little chuckle when I first read them, but on some occasions –- as in reading the following comment -- my reaction was a spontaneous outburst of hearty laughter. The occasion was a video that dealt with the problem of technology changing so fast today that it could be a cause of psychological distress. Although one of the technologies discussed had to do with space travel, I really do not know what was in the head of the student who wrote the following comment:

            The Big Dipper is the most famous constipation in our galaxy.

disfunction: verb meaning to cause something to work wrong

This is a clear illustration of the fairly common practice of treating a perfectly good noun as a perfectly bad verb:

            Alcohol disfunctions the brain.

hymens: religious songs

Oops! Nothing is ever what it appears to be these days.

            I'm not sure I believe in God but I still like the hymens we

            sing in church every Sunday.

learning: fact; piece of information; new knowledge

            Another learning I got from this video was that many

            Americans do not have health insurance.

menstrual: a travelling singer; a musical revue

This comment was made in reference to a uniquely American form of entertainment discussed in a video documenting the history of racism in the United States. As the student understood the video,

            Performers in menstrual shows were white people who made

            themselves up to look black.

phamon: extreme scarcity, specifically as regards something to eat

Perhaps what we have here is a refugee from a phonetic spelling program. If it sounds like a duck it must be a duck.