LAMENTATIONS OF A WIDOWER
A Letter to my Departed Love
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The first thing I ever read in life titled LAMENTATIONS would have been the 25th book of the Bible which comes immediately after the book of Jeremiah, purportedly also of the same author. But whereas Jeremiah the prophet was mourning over the predicted but imminent destruction of
Many do not have the courage to put it down in writing and much less, do so as eloquently as Nelson has done. When you read it, you get the impression of his lamentations just gushing out of the pen, effortlessly, naturally even as they boil in his entrails. He makes even the numb feel the misery of the present situation of the family Agnes has left behind, which he bewails bitterly. Then he complains to God, to Agnes, his friends, and relatives hoping to win the compassionate consideration of the Almighty in his affliction. This is what I see in the first part of this book, from the Introduction through The Man in Black, The Widower’s prayer of Hope to The post-script, a mourning Nelson with eyes heavy and red with tears that will run at the least wink.
But very much like the MAN that Nelson is, selfless and magnanimous, he feels the need to share with us the lessons that Agnes’ embattled life, and painful exit have taught him. So he wittingly leads us still with his eyes in tears, through the nature, causes, diagnosis, prevention and the treatment of the killer disease, cancer; yes, the disease that took away Agnes and widowed Nelson.
There are many lessons to learn from here. One of the lessons that one learns from these lamentations is to stand strong in the Lord, lest the tsunami of emotions both from within and without sweep you off your feet. Remember Job’s three friends – Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. Yes, and what fortitude true friendship represents in these trying times, when you close your eyes and only see stars, when you have lost all - your better half - the one with whom for years you shared a tear and a joy, a dish and a drink, a room and a bed, a worry and a story, a quarrel and a joke. Yes, how warm, how reassuring it is that even in that dark night of your life friends, kith and kin can come round just to whisper “ashia”. Yes friendship is a treasure unfathomable. But while standing firm on the Lord, listen still prayerfully to some pieces of advice that friends and relatives may proffer because, one never knows, God sometimes speaks to us through the instrumentation of our kind.
In reading through these lamentations we join Nelson and the children, and those who suffer similar plight around us to lessen the burden that is theirs, but we hopefully also learn big life lessons for the future.
Prof. Emmanuel Chia
(
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
I just thought I should inform the reader of some important points about this book. First of all, you may like to know that, from the beginning to the end, I did not intend to publish this letter for public consumption. It was a private letter from a husband to a departed wife. When you read therefore, do not be surprised when you come to some words, slangs, expressions, and even language you are not familiar with. In a number of situations, I have become so specific that only somebody who is exactly like me, in this case, a wife, can relate. In other words, I inadvertently break through the “fourth wall” and leave you my reader on the outside. In these instances I alienate a number of you my audiences. I apologize for that. I fear that if I go over the whole book to make changes to suit every audience, the original rationale behind this book will be lost.
I can imagine a number of you, my readers, asking me why then did I decide to publish a private letter. Note that this “letter” was virtually completed in 2003 and I have been hoping, against all hope, to meet a reliable person to take it to my departed wife. I then guessed that by publishing this letter, I would be increasing the chances of having a mail-runner to carry this mail to the addressee. That is, one of the readers, understanding my dilemma of sending this letter, may be kind enough to accept to take this letter to my Departed Love when the said reader’s own time comes for him/her to leave this world. Also, because of the remarks and suggestions of friends who read the manuscript, I thought I would be selfish with the knowledge hidden in these pages if I did not turn this private letter into an open letter.
I therefore invite and encourage every person who picks up this book to first of all find the most comfortable position and then relax, concentrate and dispel every other thought for you are about to read a true story of a widower who is lamenting over the departure of his love. I must assure you, as commented by some of the proof-readers below, that this book is “an encyclopedia of social issues and the American Dream” which “ relives and paints the true picture of the African and American society”. I am convinced if you get past the first two Paragraphs (chapters) that seem to assume that you are a Christian like Agnes, you will never regret the world of information that you will amass by reading Paragraphs (chapters) 3-7 in particular. I mean that if religion is not your favorite cup of tea as it was and it is to both sender and addressee of this letter, make an extra effort to continue to read on for there is much more than you can imagine in this book simply coated in the language of religion.
On the other hand, to those readers who are true believers or just religious fanatics, please do not crucify me in areas where I, because of pain in me, boldly questioned and sounded as a blasphemer of the God you totally believe in and fervently serve. In that respect, let me sound a note of caution to the spiritually weak Christian reading this book. You could be misled by what I say or wonder about my faith, theology, and level of commitment.
Now hold back your faith, your emotions and even tears and start lamenting. But before you start this emotional journey with me through this grieving process, join me in thanking the following individuals for helping in one way or the other to proof-read and to shape the ideas when I decided to publish this private letter for public consumption: Prof. Emmanuel Chia, Mechtild Regina Schöngen, Tohsiichui Richard, Yongabi Michael, Perpetua Ngengwe, Alfred Tofibam, and Kimbo Joseph. Let me wet your appetite with these comments from some of them.
About the Author
Dr. Nelson Ngoh is an Associate Professor currently teaching Methods and Materials of Teaching Science to graduate students and Biology to undergraduates at the Before joining Higher Education Dr. Ngoh had taught Biology for several years in Secondary Schools in Dr. Nelson Ngoh is a holder of a M.Sc. degree and a Ph.D. degree in Science Education with a bias to biological sciences obtained from the University of Reading, England in the He got married