End of Watch

She calmed me down a little by assuring me that it probably wasn’t “ T,” our nickname for Terry.  Finally, I found the number to the police department and dialed it.

A sergeant answered, and I told him who I was.  I told him that I knew that this call may seem strange, but I just wanted to know if my son was okay.  I told him that I had read about a shooting, and that I didn’t need to know anything other than if my son was fine.  

Just tell me those words, please.

His voice gave him away.

“We don’t know much about the incident as it just happened, but I do know that it was someone in your son’s division.  It was a plain-clothed officer, and it was definitely the narcotics division.”

I knew that there were only a handful of officers in Terry’s division and that whoever it was, I was likely to know him.  I started to pray, prayers that I could only repeat over and over again.

Help me, God.  Please help me.

“Where can I reach you, Mrs. Melancon?” the sergeant said.  “I will call you back in five minutes.”

I could feel panic rising in me and I could not recite a number to him.  I didn’t know my number.  

Several of my co-workers heard the panic in my voice and surrounded my desk.  I looked at one of them and asked for my office number.  I could not think.  Several of my co-workers took over, trying to console me while they gave the sergeant the number.

I could feel those five minutes passing by one second at a time, then another and then another.  I ticked them off in my head.

I could not take my eyes off of that phone.  It held all of the power over my life.  Everything could change drastically with just one ring.  My world could come crashing down.  My mind became blank.  Dark.  It was like a tunnel vision effect around me as I focused on the call I was about to receive.

I thought about Lacey, waiting by her phone, waiting for me to tell her everything was fine.

I jumped when the phone finally rang and unsteadily picked up the receiver.  I held my breath as I listened.