The Shadows of My Childhood
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Ever thought of your life as if it was someone else’s? Ever thought if you had a second chance you would do it differently? Maybe not, maybe what I did then makes me do what I do now. Watch over myself and my own.
This takes me to 22 years ago when this beautiful child was beyond the capacity of understanding how I had gone from boogie and money made to ghetto and rough.
One awesome morning I walked out of my house realizing I was only 12 years old and already dating. I didn’t think that was bad because I loved this guy. I had no idea I was about to climb on the rollercoaster of my life not knowing the consequences of falling in love at a young age.
I didn’t listen to anyone but my heart which was pounding so hard I could hear it. There was nothing in this world I was interested in but to be with him, my handsome lover.
I was raised in the 80’s; within that time just like in every decade there were guidelines to follow, such as don’t date when you are still a child. Truth is there are always tricks to get away with anything you want. I was born in
Everything collapsed when Mom couldn’t take any more of Father’s abuse and indifferences. She left taking me and my sister with her. After 9 years of marriage, they were not taking things well, they became violent. The monetary contribution from Father to Mom was just not voluntary. She had to ask him for funds as he didn’t allow her to work for her own spending. Father met Mother as a working woman. Then he was told of her two boys.
He loved her dearly but was not interested in handling her boys. Mother had two boys of her own before living with Father. He was not going to take care of a woman with other man’s children; this was not Father, too much for him to handle.
Mother had been coming and going to the
Grandmother saw there was potential in her daughter making a good living if she was to send money home. She was willing to care for the boys, as long as her money was not to stop.
Mother ended sta
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About the Book
Young years and soft memories are transformed to chaos for this child. Being afraid, waking up sweating to a real life nightmare, not being in control of anything that is done to her or against her is what her everyday looks like.
A nerve wrecking read where the time will seem as if the clock has stopped and the contents of what your eyes see must be read today rather than tomorrow. A story of completely opposite sides of a lifestyle, when a decision is made and others are tremendously affected by one's actions, when so much damage is done and there is no way back but always forward. Always walk ahead and chin up. A reason why we must believe there is tremendous bad and awesomely good in every person.
A real contradiction to the reader as we understand there has to be a shocker ending since the facts and the scenes in our minds cannot bear another attack. A forever reminder of what her life will not be. She forgave her and she left in peace.
About the Author
A young child living the life anyone would love to live, having a family, love and nurturing is all she knows, A beautiful house and plenty to enjoy, cared for so much and spoiled at times too. Her life gives a tremendous spin when her parents loose the respect they once had for each other as if they were strangers; breaking the ties that made them and kept them together. Her life turns from precious trees through the windows and birds singing in the back patio to sirens of police cars and shootings every night. Her life and her memories of her Father are tied down to pictures hidden under the pillow. From being the precious little girl to her Dad to an abused, neglected and sabotaged emotionally and physically young child, stripping her innocence and making her rebellious and rough.
Not understanding her life and the change she becomes insecure, scared, and hateful. She attempts to not survive the life she was now brought to and gives up but not for long; there is still hope for her as she encounters new opportunities to come out of the dark hole her life has been submerged into. She grasps unto her only chance she gets to set free of her terrible state of mind. "I will not be one more that my life is wasted" she said. She came up above deep waters and against all odds she escaped that filthy way of life. Thank you my Lord for a better life.