Just A Glimpse

Tap, tap, tap. Nick heard the reassuring echo from his cane hitting the sidewalk calling out to him, “Come on, this way; you’re three steps closer to home,” it seemed to beat out. His long legs followed, taking their strides more carefully and with a bit more caution and apprehension than usual. He did NOT want to slip. That was something he must avoid at all cost.

Of course to some extent Nick felt he already had slipped - for he had stepped out of the comfort zone of his apartment and slipped into this icy world made up of cold, wet snow falling from darkness and then landing on his face.

Nick was pretty sure it was snow. It made no sound like the sleet that had fallen yesterday which had made the sidewalks so treacherously slick. Also, this slush had a substance that rain didn’t have and it was much colder! His face was getting numb with the frigid cold.

Being blind was hell, and at a time like this it was especially difficult, but being dependant upon others was even worse, figured Nick. So, he continued to trudge along.

“Keep going, you can do this!” His own silent encouragement was all the fuel that he could muster. The sack of groceries he’d purchased from the all-night market four blocks away was growing heavy. Turning his head into the collar of the sheepskin coat his mother had bought for him at Christmas, Nick blew his breath onto the fleecy lining so as to shake the cold from his lips and nose. He succeeded in getting only a momentary reprieve before the biting cold returned. It seemed even more determined to freeze him in his tracks.

Tap, tap... one and a half blocks left to go. “Just keep thinking of your nice, warm apartment...” tap, tap, tap... “think of popping the top on a tall cold one...” tap, tap - scrape. This particular part of the pavement he’d tested was slippery and in that fleeting instant Nick lost his sense of rhythm along with his balance and went sliding relentlessly forward...

SMACK! His body met the sidewalk. Nick winced as he heard the sack tearing, and the sound of cans and cellophane wrapped packages falling to the pavement. Finally, the shattering of glass - there went his instant coffee!

“Okay, how about yourself?” Nick took stock of the situation and was conscious of a terrible burning sensation on his right wrist and chin where he had sustained scrapes. “Perfect, just perfect!” Nick thought. On top of it all he was completely disoriented, unsure as to which direction he was facing. Nick had prayed for this not to happen but now he was suddenly confronting one of his greatest fears - being lost in his dark world.

“Well, nothing to do but pick yourself up and go on. No one’s going to do it for you.” Nick remembered one of his instructors at blind school telling him that practically every single day he came in. So, Nick hoisted himself up to a sitting position. Where was his cane? He was lost without his cane! While searching around on the icy ground for the long metal cane, Nick suddenly felt something sharp pierce his wet glove. It embedded itself deep into the palm of his hand. He’d found the broken jar of coffee - $4.98 completely wasted! Nick felt like yelling out, but didn’t. “Don’t be a cry baby.” He told himself, “just grit your teeth and bear it.” Pulling the glass from his palm, Nick threw it as far away as he could from his sprawled position on the ground. “There, that won’t bother me again,” Nick thought bitterly.

At the same time another thought crept into his mind, “Give up, use your cell phone, call Mom, she’d come down here and help you... while giving you the ‘oh at least you tried’ speech with the ‘and look what happens to you without me’ dig.” Nick’s mind reasoned logically “Don’t do it. You’ve got to keep yourself motivated. Think of someone who would love to see you fall flat on your ass.”

Nick didn’t even have to think twice. His ex-girlfriend Marlene, “Marlene would just love this.” They’d gotten into a major fight just before Christmas and Nick just couldn’t stand her living with him. She was a pig, not a companion, never putting things back where they belonged, just lounging around and living off him and his disability check.

No one was out this time of night. Nick always chose to shop at night. The fewer people out, the fewer strangers thinking, “...poor man! he’s blind; that must be hard.” That was really the last thing Nick needed - more people feeling sorry for him. Of course now when someone would have been a great deal of help to him...

“That’s why it’s best to rely on yourself,” another sound bit of wisdom he’d acquired over the years. However, both his counselors and mother did advise him to shop between one and three in the afternoon. Why hadn’t he listened!? Pride. Pure and simple.

Nick searched further left trying to avoid the broken glass, but the powerful aroma of coffee filled the air. Glass must be everywhere! A rustling - he’d found the loaf of bread! But, where the hell was that damn sack!? Damn the environment! Next time he was asking for plastic, this was not going to happen again!

Crunch, crunch, crunch... someone was coming up behind him. Who? Who else was willing to brave the icy walks this time of night? Who could be approaching him? Just what did they want? Nick wondered. It suddenly dawned on him - he’d fallen near an alley, an alley that hadn’t been cleared of snow yet! Of all the places he had to fall why did it have to be in such a convenient place for muggers and killers?! Where was that damn cane?! In a frantic haste Nick fumbled desperately for his cane - he could use it to defend himself if need be. It couldn’t have vanished into thin air! It was around him somewhere! But where?!

“Do you need some help?” A soft voice inquired close enough to his face that he felt the girl’s breath touch his ear.