How To Work with Others In 12 Step Recovery
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The information contained in each step can help many people with different problems and situations. Along with each step there are various suggestions that will help with each particular obstacle, event, and relationship the newcomer or sponsee will face.
When a member is not ready to understand or receive information they have been given, it can be discounted or discarded as not being effective as a solution to the problem they face. It is important to remember that contempt prior to investigation is an issue we may constantly deal with.
The above statement will depend on the background and circumstances of the individual we are attempting to help.
Some newcomers, sponsee’s will easily digest all the suggestions presented. Others will not be able to handle the step work combined with all of its suggestions. We ask that you simply taper the suggestions down to fit the capacity of the individual you wish to help. When its time for them to grasp a new suggestion or the need arises, you can share particular information or a suggestion with them. This will mean that through trial and error a sense of timing will be developed as when to give information and suggestions. Be careful that when you reduce the number of suggestions to not reduce them so far that they become ineffective. The use of a folder by the sponsor and sponsee will help manage this information. It is important that the step work not be reduced only the suggestions.
Give the suggestions in the order of the steps. If someone has completed the steps it is possible to give any suggestions they might require when you wish to do so.
If someone has not yet completed their steps, it is important how you relate these suggestions to their particular situation. Therefore, we walk with all who we wish to help and ascertain whether the information and suggestions we wish to impart will help or hinder their recovery.
If a problem or any doubt exists, it would be wise to pray and ask your own higher power for direction. Then call your sponsor and talk it over with them.
We would hope and pray that our motives and thoughts when working with new members be clean and based on a sincere desire to be helpful to another who suffers as we once have.
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About the Book
This book is for all who wish to carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It has been a rewarding pleasure that has filled my heart and soul with gratitude and joy over the past years to work with and alongside the newcomer, sponsee’s, sponsors, bleeding deacons, elder statesmen and the old-timers of Alcoholics Anonymous.
During the course of working with these members we have found and applied various suggestions when working with sponsee’s who wish to work the steps.
This book is compiled from the knowledge of the Big Book of AA and the members of the fellowship that have completed the steps and the hard lessons of the ones who have not or never will.
It is a book of basic communication and human relationship skills used alongside the 12 steps as outlined in the Big Book and 12x12.
The purpose of this book is to assist members who are carrying the message of AA. We have attempted to cover the situations one most encounters when sponsoring a new member through the steps and dealing with life on life’s terms.
Please feel free to use this entire book or any part that you can to help the new member or sponsee recover and grow spiritually. If this book can increase your personal knowledge of how to pass the message effectively please, as Bill Wilson Said, “Pass it on.”
About the Author
R. Lakatos was born in
After qualifying himself as an alcoholic at an early age he spent many years researching life as an alcoholic.
In 1991 with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous and a sponsor he achieved a level of sobriety that would keep him sober and happy in life. Mr. Lakatos has spent his time working with other alcoholics and is very passionate about helping others recover from alcoholism. He has helped many people recover using the 12 steps as outlined by AA. He also observed these recovered members pass the message of AA on to others. After attending college at age 33 he began to write his notes on working with others down and this has led to this book being written.
At this point in time he travels extensively with his wife all over the