The Board of Destiny

He greeted her with a kiss and told her what a pleasant surprise it was to find her at home so early.

Before he could say anything more, she suddenly blurted out, “Robert, I’ve made a decision.”

Robert, trying to maintain his composure, said, “Well…”

“Sit down,” she said, and then moved over on the sofa to give him room.

Robert could see in her eyes that he was about to be faced with a decision that would have him leaving without her.

“Please promise me that you won’t interrupt me, because this is not going to be easy.” Robert sat down and Sarah immediately stood up and began pacing the floor.

“First let me say that I admire you for making the decision that you have made. It takes a very strong person to do what you want to do. To have everything most people dream of having, and then to simply walk away from it takes a lot of guts. People can say that you are crazy and stupid, and maybe they are correct, but they would have to admire the fact that you are pursuing your dreams. Many people may want to go away but never do. For some, the best route is to tell their loved ones they are going to the store and never return. I admire you most for not taking that approach, because even though that takes courage as well, it takes more courage to discuss your thoughts with someone you love. Especially at the risk of having them say good-bye.” She paused for a moment, then continued. “What is even stranger is that I actually want to go…”

“Yeah, for real? Fantastic!” Robert jumped up and shouted, “YES! What a woman you are Sarah...” Suddenly he realized that she wasn’t finished and he sat back down.

“You promised to not interrupt me,” she said quietly.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. What did you expect me to do? You have just made me the happiest man on the planet. No, the universe…”

“I want to go, but I can’t!” Sarah blurted out.

Robert started to speak but Sarah put her finger to her lips, signaling for him to be quiet.

“Robert, I love you more than you can imagine, but what you are asking is beyond my capabilities. You know how strong you feel right now about what you want to do?”

Robert nodded his head yes and Sarah said, “Well, that is how strongly I feel about what I want to do. I have been trying to decide how important what I want out of life really is, versus what you want from me. You have caused me to question my life, my goals, dreams, and desires. I had never really thought about them so seriously before, but now that I have, I have decided that what you want for us will make you happy, not me. I’ve decided that I truly want what you refer to as, ‘the standard wants of everybody else.’ Even in the negative way you positioned it, I still want the standard. At first I agreed with you about what you proposed and I pictured how wonderful it would be. But then I decided that if I can obtain what you are running from, I would be happier than if we obtain what you are searching for.

“Surprisingly, I want to thank you, because you’ve made me realize that I actually do know what I want in this lifetime. Before all of this happened, I never really thought about it because I was too busy trying to get everything, but now I know what I want. You taught me something that I will never forget, and you probably don’t even remember doing it. You said once, ‘to accomplish something, you have to know what it is, and then you have to write down the steps to get there. But the problem many people have is that they get caught up in completing each step and forget about trying to accomplish the final objective.’ Well, you have made me see that I was caught up in the steps and now I realize what the objective is. Unfortunately, going with you on your journey is not what I want out of life. As painful as it is to say this, I want you to go without me, but please know that I will always love you. If this lifestyle you have described to me is what you want from your one lifetime, then I will not try and stop you. As a matter of fact, and I know this will sound crazy, but I will actually help you go. Because the way I see it is like this: You will never be happy until you’ve done it, and the quicker you get going the quicker you may come back. If you don’t come back, then I will know that you and I would have never stayed together, no matter how hard we tried…”

“But…” Robert tried to say something but Sarah stopped him.

“Listen, sweetie, this is hard enough already, so please just accept it and know that it is the way it is. I want what I want; just as much as you want what you want, so please don’t try to sell me on the idea that I want something else. Right or wrong, I want a nice house, two kids, a husband with a steady job, two vacations a year, a career, and barbecues on the weekends. I want to visit other places as much as you do, but I enjoy the routine of family. I want the security of knowing everything is going to be okay.”

She had said what she wanted to say, and Robert felt more love for her at that moment then he had ever felt before. Following his instincts, Robert stood up and kissed her passionately, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. At first she resisted, but then gave in to him.

After making love, they both lay naked on the bedroom floor catching their breath and thinking about the fact that they may never make love to anyone else the way they had just made love to each other. They took a shower together and prepared dinner and talked about everything they had always wanted to but never