The Crap Chronicles
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Steve, as you know, I was in an unfortunate and serious accident seven weeks ago on the out bound ramps from the ‘Bridge’ as I was going home from work, from our company parking lot. As I was being MEDIVAC’ed to the ‘
Un-be-knownst to me, the insurance company was late in picking up the remains of the vehicle. Then several weeks later [approx. 2 weeks ago] the insurance company called me and told me that they had attempted to pick up the vehicle and that the Police Dept. would not release the car to them without written and notarized permission from me.
I was chagrined to find this out, since I thought the matter had been put to rest.
But, as a good American, I first called the Police Dept. and asked what they needed, explaining that the car was under lease and that the insurance company had the right to pick up the car! After that interesting conversation, that taxed my tolerance, I immediately went to a Notary-Public and sent to my insurance company written permission allowing them to retrieve said vehicle from the Police lot at the ‘Bridge’. The should be picking it up a-n-y day now.
------------End of original message-----------
Note: The illustrative memo above, which I had to write to my boss, who begged me not to be too flippant, to explain to our bigger bosses why my wrecked car had been sitting there at the lot for all those weeks, is due to the fact that some A-hole lieutenant in the Police Dept. called the head of our department, the friggin boss of bosses, to complain about me taking advantage of the company parking lot.....shhiet, you can’t make this stuff up!
Amusing isn’t it? Its also constipating.... which brings us to today’s narrative;
Just before I was set to go to work today, a quick and hard effort was made and a small but HARD turd was expunged. Things however got more normal when I arrived at work and where I let loose a big stinky wet shit, which took a half a roll of company toilet paper to clean up, nice. To be continued.....
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
A ''...Day in the life'' or should I say a ''...Shit in the day'' of our writer, the book chronicles the days events into a succsinct package.
These are slice of life ''snippets'', while performing the duty on the throne, that the author has accumulated over the years. Some are more poignant than others, some are cruel, some are sweet while others are vicious, while all are nasty to begin with anyway, ha ha! But they''re almost always funny! Some have a political undertone while others are specific to the job in hand or should I say, more precisely, the job on the bowl.
A subtitle used in these ''e-mails from the edge'' on almost every page is SOS., very apropos, don''t you agree?
About the Author
The author, a renound engineer [of sorts] and builder, with a decidedly humanistic bent, has had many years of experience in the subject and contemplation on the throne. Several years ago while bragging and compairing notes with a collegue about their proclivity and prowess in the all important defecating department, which was a serious and humorous matter for both, our writer decided to chronicle many of the events of the following years. A loving and devoted [mostly] father, husband and son, his family and professional life sometimes intrude into or add to the descriptive essays from the commode.