Doody Diaries
My Comical IBS Journey
by
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I turned around and realized my challenge of fighting through a crowded room of guests. I walked faster and faster while the doody peaked closer to my rear. Now I am sure you have seen the doody walk. This is when you clench your butt cheeks very tight, and accompany this simulated waddle with a quick brisk walk. You are oblivious to everything around as you focus on finding the toilet. Depending on the type of doody, farts may also start sneak out as you walk. This happened to me as I parted the sea of people.
* * *
I briefly closed my eyes and went for the handle. All of a sudden, the tornado spun so fast the shit began to pour out of the toilet. The shit water seeped out of the sides of the toilet and onto the sparkling bathroom floor. My sister gasped and made a run for it! I quickly followed behind as my own shit started chasing me. I stood with my head in between the banister as the shit traveled into the hallway and onto the floor. I watched my shit roll out of the door.
* * *
I tried to squat, ready, aim and SHIT! As soon as I released my bowels shit just started to roll down the sides of my legs. Some of it actually made it into the hole, but most of it was all over me. Did I forget to mention, I was wearing shorts? After completing my task, I looked around for some toilet paper and nothing. I was so consumed with my shit impulses; I violated my own rule of the toilet paper check. So, there I stood with shit down my leg and no paper.
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About the Book
Got Doody? Of course you do! We all have it. Grab a seat, and enter my world of doody.
While sitting on the toilet, my doody expressed an interest in telling our journeys to the public. Each chapter of Doody Diaries highlights hilarious tales where my doody took over the scene. Laugh as you read about the doody walk, flushing methods, public doodies and much, much more! If there was ever a book you could relate to, this is it!
If you appreciate doody humor or know someone who does, this book is a must read. Add Doody Diaries to your toilet library or give the gift of Doody.
Join me for the tale of the doody…
About the Author
A hot summer day in southern
As a teenager, J. Nine interned and published work in two local newspapers. J. Nine received a Bachelor of Science in Speech Communications and a Master of Organizational Management . During undergraduate studies, J. Nine was the host of an originally created talk show.
Doody Diaries is J. Nine’s first published book. Keep your eyes out for more work by J. Nine and Doody Diaries Part II.
Write the author at: jnine@doodydiaries.com