Seed’s Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating

What The First Readers Are Saying:

“I read this book cover to cover several times and each and every time I was actually riveted by the sheer passion and intensity. Every time I would rush home and give Harry a little something, something to show how I really feel about him. I knew Seed was gifted when I read his early work and actually I believe I am responsible for a great deal of the success he is receiving now. I made him who he is today.”

- Mrs. Grant (Seed’s grade 5 English teacher)

“Who’s Harry?”

- Tom (Mrs. Grant’s husband)

“I have read War and Peace. This is nothing like it.”

- Carl (some guy who read War and Peace)

“I must commend Seed. He has tackled a very tough subject matter and spared the fluff that most books on relationships inflict upon us. He has shared big parts of his life to give the reader an understanding of where a lot of his knowledge comes from. It is very refreshing to see that he never held back on his opinions. He seems to say what everyone else seems to be afraid of saying and he talks from the heart. The book is laced with deep thoughts and yet it is filled with original comedy to keep it light and fresh to read. If you read it with an open heart and an open mind, Seed provides a very powerful positive message. I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to sort out their personal relationships or for those who simply want a good laugh. It is rare but Seed provides us with both. I wish him great success.”

- David (typesetter for a large printing company)

From Chapter 38.

Should You Stay or Should You Go? More Red Flags

So where was I? Oh yeah. The passion and the desire seem to have vanished from your relationship. You start finding the stop at the “Bar of Regrets” on the way home becoming the norm. Life at this moment sucks. You may still love your girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, but the magic just seems to be missing and you don’t know what to do about it. Right off, stop going to the bar of regrets, it is not helping the situation. Face reality. Quit giving up. Remember you love this person and hopefully you care for them and respect them. That is, after you have sobered up and realized that the guys at the bar with their collection of useless thoughts are just going through the motions of life and have quit themselves. They would be more than happy to have a new member in “The Life Sucks Club”. After all, the more members there are, means more drinks, more recovery time and ultimately it leads to more excuses and inevitably more time in the “Bar of Regrets“. It is not pretty. When you take up a stool in these bars, the chances of making it out becomes increasingly difficult the more time you spend there.

At this time, I must take a moment to say that throughout North America and the world there are a lot of wonderful bars, pubs, lounges and clubs that provide a positive atmosphere to share a few pops with friends, both new and old, family members and acquaintances. These bars provide a valuable social environment, where the possibilities are unlimited. In fact, I met a few of my ex’s in these bars and proceeded to have serious relationships with them. The bars to be avoided, to which I referred above, well you will be able to spot them. Actually, I think if you read the fine print on the signs it does say: “Bar of Regrets”. As for the rest of the bars, keep up the good work. See you soon.

Back to the matter at hand. The passion seems to be gone. What do you do? First off, take another deep breath. Next, grab a gin (ha, ha!). Seriously, try to remove yourself for a moment from the situation. Go for a run, a walk, go to the gym or go do something where you can be alone for a little while to think. Do some soul searching. Maybe the solution is simple. You really don’t want to give up on a relationship with someone that you love. Perhaps you or your partner are having some work, health, family or any of a vast array of other problems which may be affecting the relationship. If you remember, we are all full of insecurities and dysfunctions, which sometimes take years to come to terms with. All that might be necessary is some time to sort through the challenges of life. It happens. Remember to cut each other some slack. If you feel that you are not sure if you can get through this alone, then get some counseling. Sometimes we can’t work past all of the challenges of life on our own and the people close to us are not equipped or trained to give good advice. They have a host of their own challenges. For the sake of example, I don’t know one friend who could have possibly been able to deal with all of the events that took place in my life in the last year. They can listen, but to ask them for the answers is simply not fair.

Hopefully, the soul searching and counseling have helped you to work past some of your issues. While you are working on getting over this funk you are in, I have one simple request. It is the most important aspect of any relationship:

“Keep the lines of communication open.”

This point is so important that I have highlighted it for you. I was going to ask you to get a pen and some paper and write it down. I was going to suggest getting yourself a highlighter and highlighting it yourself. Then a funny thing happened: I realized that if I wanted to keep marching towards Sainthood I could simply do it for you. I also didn’t want you to stop reading to have to do a menial task at such an important moment. This point is so critical. In fact if you and your mate do not do this, do you really have a relationship? It is even more important when life issues you challenges. It is human nature for us to be self-absorbed. If your love is going through some challenges, you may feel neglected and unloved and force the issues due to your insecurities, which may eventually lead to much greater relationship issues. Stop thinking about yourself. Basically shut up. Don’t assume her or his problems pertain to you. Sometimes peop