DEATH AS THE PROVIDER

“Oh God, what kind of monster or monsters could have done this. Even for a million dollars, who could have done this” I cried.

The next time I remembered being alive was three days later.  I woke up on a bed, in a room, at the hospital.  There at the side of my bed was the doctor.  He told me in a soft, matter of fact voice that there was nothing physically wrong with me, that I had an emotional breakdown.  He also said that the medication that had been given to me over the past 3 days will help me cope with the memories.  He said we insist that you spend at least a week, seven more days here, for observations, which will further enhance your mental and emotional ability to get all this behind you.  I just looked over at him, without saying a word, nodded my head in agreement.  He got up, and without saying good bye, or good day, left the room.  I closed my eyes and saw the baby blue eyes staring at me out of the red darkness.

During those seven days, I received time with a number of professionals and was able to tell my story so many times, and was asked so many questions, that I relived the experience over and over again.  I was able to put the past 8 days in their proper perspective. But even to this day almost every time I close my eyes, those baby blue eyes appear and stare into my soul.  When I see them I have the feeling that they are trying to tell me something, or warn me of something.  But I have no fear of them, I actually have a feeling of comfort when I see them, I can’t explain this feeling, I only know they are a part of me now.

*******

The sound of the vines opening and closing was my guide.  I can feel my blood flowing down my face and neck.  I can taste it as it enters my mouth.  The salty taste was making me aware of the immense thirst that I had.  The pain was great, but pain is something that can be blocked out in a place like this.  Pain can also be a comfort in a condition where all human senses are at a bare minimum.  I fell hundreds of times; my hands became mangled from putting the weight of my body on them and the dead vines cutting them as I struggled to get up.  Suddenly something happened, again another light appeared ahead.  But all I could see was red.  The blood is clotting over my eyes and the more I rubbed with my bloody hands, the more blood remained in and on my eyes.  It seemed hopeless, I had the chance to see where I was and my own blood prevented it.  I kept walking in my red world, not bothering to clear the blood anymore. Then suddenly I fell for what seemed like an eternity, then nothing, unconsciousness. 

I woke with no pain.  Odd, that I wasn’t killed in a long fall like that.  As I opened my eyes, I could see daylight, a blue sky.  I looked at my body expecting to see a bloody mess, but it too was perfect.  Was all that I had experienced a dream?  If so, where am I?  What am I doing here?  I looked around.  I am in some kind of field, flat with short grass growing.  But no cliff was near, nothing to fall from.  Then it must have been a dream.  I couldn’t have experienced all that horror that I can remember, because nothing has happened to me.  I stood up, I felt good, just like I had a good nights sleep.