Evelyn's Memoirs

Evelyn Berndt Bilello was a liberated woman before the bra-burning days of the sixties.  She just didn’t know it.  Evelyn made up her mind that she was going to leave the farm in Thurso, Quebec, Canada and have a career. Growing up as the oldest child of eight she witnessed the hard times and saw what her parents endured to raise these children.  The difficult life of the early, pioneer farmer prompted her desire to cultivate her very academic mind.

She was saddened to leave her family who she dearly loved in order to become a nurse in 1929 at the age of 22.  Teaching local students in a one room schoolhouse at the age of 15 offered her some rewards but she knew she would have to leave her country and head for New York City to fulfill her dreams.  In spite of all her struggles and close-encounters Evelyn remains the determined woman she was destined to be.

Although the focus of her life was nursing she fell in love at a masquerade ball in Brooklyn, New York, married and raised two daughters.  She juggled her career and family during the 1950’s when most women were living the role of “at home” Mom.  After 50 years of marriage, Evelyn in her golden years was able to use her nursing skills in order to grant my father’s wish to die at home. It is at this time that she began her memoir writing.

Evelyn, now a great-grandmother, resides at the Atrium in Allendale New Jersey and continues to be the positive individual she has always been.  She participates in activities and enjoys the staff and residents company.  In fact, Evelyn finds it difficult to find the time to complete her book because she enjoys Tai Chi, vocabulary building games, ceramics, and travelogues.

As her daughter (who has had the opportunity to visit her almost daily) I have enjoyed these stories so much that I co-authored the stories along with Mom, when she lost patience with writing.  I also took pencil in hand and re-created the scenarios that she described so beautifully.

Follow along these pages with Evelyn as she explains the dangers, pitfalls, and eye-opening life experiences that she encounters throughout her childhood and beyond.

Norma Bilello Klau  

I’d like to dedicate this book to my Mom.  The first three sections of the book flowed from my mother''s memory as vividly as if she was living her life all over again.  The fourth and final section was more difficult; it suggests that the story of her life will be coming to an end, something no one wants to happen.

Her struggling life of poverty, her own personal elegance and extraordinary intelligence was a remarkable combination.  It molded her and gave her the character to become all that she could be. 

She is 96 years old as I write this and has difficulty seeing and hearing.  However, she has not lost her ability to appreciate life.  I am a fortunate person to be with her almost daily.  I see the human side of her and yet sometimes I feel as though she has a such a rare and special gift I wonder if she is not someone divine; someone heaven sent.

Mother laughs when it is appropriate to laugh, she feels sad when she sees others misfortune and she somehow manages to keep this family on an even keel. Therein is her elegance. Her wisdom tells us all that she really knows what is important; reminding us not to let small problems take us to places we need not go.

She spends hours in her small room and I know waits to see me.  I don''t believe that she waits for me because I am such an interesting person.  She waits for me because I am someone she can still nurture and love.  She shows this with her extra cookies that she takes from the lunchroom of the Atrium, her senior citizen home.  She shares her poem with me because I appreciate it.  But most of all she continues to share her life with me and I have become a better person because of it. 

Sometimes when I am tired I may not feel like carrying the goodies back out to the car.  I even get angry when I see all the crumbs that drop to the bottom of my purse the next day.  But in my heart I know I am a fool for this because those crumbs will not always be there.  I dread the day they are not. 

I want to help her finish the fourth section of the book but I am having difficulties also.  I want the book to never end; I want her life to never end.  I know I am going to regret not listening to every detail of every story.  Even if I have heard the story before the time will come that I will not remember it correctly and I will not have her to set things straight for me. Yet I have a life outside of the Atrium and at times I tune out from Mom''s life- I even take it and her for granted.  I know I will regret this.  She grows more frail every year but never loses any of her intelligence, beauty, faith, caring, creativity, or character.  She smiles and lights up a room; I can see that everyone who knows her has grown very fond of her. 

I feel like a proud mother when I walk around the Atrium.  I am as proud of her as any mother could be of their child living away at school.  I am a very privileged person to have her all to myself each day.  I know the rest of the family who is not able to be here envies me. 

I am not sure how I will put this into the book, but it has to be said, "My Mom is the finest person I have ever met."