A Divorce That Finds You

He looked out the window as the rain clouded the evening.  How, he thought, could it have all gone wrong?  Fifteen years spent loving her, trying to work with her, to support her, to help her in any way he could, and now it was over and she was making it HIS fault.  He remembered the doctors had several times told him that any addiction had the characteristic of blame, but it made no sense to him.  None!  Damn it!

He stared at the computer screen and felt numb.  Why couldn’t she have just said “Sweetheart, I need some help,” and life could have begun anew.  No, instead he would come home so many times to find her passed out on the floor, the dogs desperately licking her face to awaken her.  And then she would come to “What the hell is your problem?  Where did you go, anyway?  You didn’t tell me you were leaving!  You see, that’s what I mean; you just go around doing things behind my back.  I’ll bet you’re having an affair, aren’t you.  Yes, that’s it!  Now LEAVE ME ALONE, you cheating liar!”  And then it was time for dinner.  “I’m not hungry”--again.

He put his head in his hands and felt the tears run down his arms.  No, not numb, aching.  A pain inside that an aspirin would not cure, maybe a shotgun, but nothing less.  Why did it hurt as bad now as it had then?  When was it going to end?

To: “Jason Mathews” JasonM@nmlink.com
From: “René Waters”  ReneAndAmber@cinet.com
Date: Feb 14, 2003

Dear Jason,

You probably don’t remember me.  My brother, Kevin, was in your class in grade and high school.  I was at a luncheon the other day with my Mom and happened to see your mother there.  I remembered you had married someone from school, and I asked how you were both doing.

I am so sorry to hear it didn’t work out and that you are going through that divorce process.  Hang in there!  It DOES end, I know.

Best regards,
René Waters

To:       “René Waters”  ReneAndAmber@cinet.com
From:    “Jason Mathews” JasonM@nmlink.com
Date:    Feb 15

Dear René,

Thank you for the kind thoughts.  Of course I remember Kevin, but you were several years behind us, I think.  Besides, back then I hadn’t learned to interact with girls--looks like I don’t do a very good job of it even today!

My Mother mentioned she had run into you and that you’d asked for my e-mail.  Do you live here?

Again, thank you for your kind wishes.

Jason Mathews