Finally, having paid the driver, he turned to find his seat next to Helga in order to make his move.Much to his chagrin, there was no seat available beside her and he had to settle for the chair next to the chair next to her.Between him and his prospect was now an elderly pregnant woman.“I didn’t know you could get pregnant after sixty,” he thought, “but I suppose with the fertility drugs we have today anything is possible.”He also couldn’t help but think that the old woman had more romance in her life than he did.He decided that he would look around and see if he could find some gum before he made his move on Helga.
Helga had been holding her breath as the bus neared Colon’s stop.She had masked an intense crush on Colon for three years, 4 months, one week, three days, eleven hours, four minutes, and sixteen seconds as far as she could calculate.Helga had always been good at math and she thought Colon would like that.As he got on the bus and fell, her heart filled with sorrow for him as she knew he would be embarrassed.His face turned a little redder this time than usual.As he approached, she realized he was looking for a seat next to her and, much to her chagrin, there was not one available.“I hate old pregnant ladies,” she thought.Well, what was one more day of waiting for Colon after so long?An eternity, that’s what it was.If she ever got ahold of Colon, she was never going to let him go.She thought his name was cute and had written in her diary once that if he were ever hers, then she would have two colons forever – one a part of her body, and the other a part of her soul.That made her happy.She hoped he would talk to her anyway.Everything he said was the funniest thing she had ever heard.She yearned to run her hands through his shaggy brown hair like she yearned for Twinkies on Sundays.
Meanwhile, Colon had given up his search for breath freshener and decided it was time to ask.It sure would be awkward with the old lady and her unborn child, but he was going to try anyway.He still couldn’t help but wonder how old she would be when her kid turned ten.“Would she even still be alive?”
“Focus, Colon, focus,” he thought.“This is one of the biggest moments of your life and you’re thinking about an old pregnant lady.That lady will probably start wearing diapers as soon as her kid stops wearing them.”
“You idiot, there you go again.Helga, Helga,” Colon berated himself.Glancing over at Helga, he caught her staring at him.After the brief eye contact, they both quickly looked away.After a moment, Colon casually turned back to Helga and said, “Good morning, Helga.You must have had your beautician working overtime this morning ‘cause you look fantastic.”
She swooned.Blushing she said, “You are so sweet!” thinking, “He is the most amazing man in the whole world.”She continued, “You look very handsome yourself.”
“Thank you,” he replied.“Now!Now is the time!” he thought, shaking from head to toe.“So Helga,” Colon started.In all the movies, the cool guys always started out with, “So” and then the name of the person they were about to ask out.“Wha - wha- what are ya’ doin’ tonight?”
The pregnant lady looked to her left, looked to her right, and realized she may be in the middle of a once-in-a-lifetime conversation for either of these two people.She looked straight ahead, trying to be nonchalant and distance herself from the private affair.
With so much blood rushing to her head, Helga almost passed out, but barely managed to squeak out a reply, “Nothin’.”
Formats
Softcover
£12.80
£11.75
Softcover
£11.75
Book Details
Language :
English
Publication Date :
13/12/2004
Format :
Softcover
Dimensions :
6x9
Page Count :
352
ISBN :
9781420809770
About the Book
Best Seller is Aaron and Alan Dennington’s first collaborative effort.It is a humorous tale of love, life, and friendship that is as touching as it is entertaining.Tex and Don expected a peaceful weekend at the lake until they went to their friend Jay’s house and accidentally destroyed his mom’s Barbra Streisand autographed Yentl poster.From there, they drive, gamble, and arm-wrestle their way to a memorabilia auction in Oregon to find one of the only other autographed posters in existence.Meanwhile, the unfortunately named Colon (pronounced “Collin”) goes the Greyhound route to track down his large love, Helga.You can’t put this book down as you root for the characters to find friendship, love, and that darn poster.
About the Author
Aaron Dennington has a Master’s degree in Electrical Engineering and a B.S. in Physics.Alan Dennington has a B.S. in Biology and is currently earning his M.D. at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School.In other words, these two have no business whatsoever writing a book and no credentials as authors.They are, however, very smart.And funny, I forgot to say that they’re funny.Aaron has written computer programs that can map the ocean floor.Alan can give one mean prostate exam.Together they are literarily synergistic.The sum of their work is greater than its parts.These two authors feed off of one another to create writing that is original, comedic, and above all, entertaining.
