Morning Glories

She was our mother and our father, and that’s how we looked up to her.  You never realize how much you have until it’s gone.

On Wednesday night both Angie and I were sitting on Mama’s bed talking with her about what were we going to eat for dinner and watching television.  I guess Angie and I must have gotten side tracked by what was going on on the television because when we turned back around to ask Mama what she wanted to eat for dinner we notice that she was counting on her fingers and mumbling. “What are you doing?”  Angie asks looking at Mama’s back, which she had to us.

“I’m counting,” Mama says nonchalantly.

“Counting what?”  I ask now getting involved.

“I’m doing my count down, Angie I need you to get me a calendar, I need to mark off some days.”  Angie and I look at each other as if this woman had lost her mind.

“You need what and you’re doing what?”  I ask raising an eyebrow.

“You heard me, I need a calendar and I’m counting down.”

“Counting down for what?”  Angie asks, now we really know she’s lost her mind.

“My countdown has started and I need to mark off some days.”

”Okay, Mama, Lil’ Rick has a calendar around here somewhere I’ll find it for you.”

“I don’t want a play calendar, I need a real calendar so find me one.  Also,” she says, “I want everything to be in pink.  I want a pink coffin, pink dress and flowers.  I want the service to be held at the White House Chapel.  Tell Rev. don’t be mad, but I don’t want him to go out of his way to find a church to fit everyone.  (The church was in the process of constructing a new building.) Don’t spend a lot of money on my coffin, and don’t buy me a new dress.  I have a nice dress hanging on the back of the door of my bedroom, that’ll do fine.   Please take care of your Grandmother and Jim, and Angie, don’t you be mean to my Mama.  Linda has taken care of the insurance papers for me so that’s taken care of.”  She pauses.  “I am so proud of you two so I know that you will be alright.  Now you may have to watch Shirley and Nessia, but Nadine and the kids will be alright.”  And she just stops talking.  A moment of silence goes by before anybody speaks.

“Mama everything’s gonna be alright, you’re not going anywhere,” I say holding back tears as Angie and I shake our heads.  The doorbell rings and Angie looks out of the window that’s in Mama’s room.  It’s Mrs. Linda, Mama’s best friend.

“I’ll go get it,” I say and head downstairs.  As I walk toward the front door I dry my face and gather my composure.  “Hey,” I say opening the door.

“Hey, how are you doing?”  Mrs. Linda asks giving me a hug and walks into the house.

“Fine, I’m doing fine,” I say, “we’re upstairs follow me.”

“How’s she’s doing?”  She asks walking up the stairs behind me.

“Uh, I don’t know, she’s talking um, how can I say this,-- she’s talking kind of crazy.”

“She’s talking about her funeral ain’t she?”  Mrs. Linda asks and grabs my arm before we reach the top step.

I couldn’t turn around to look at her or I would burst into tears so I stammer out, “umm, yes ma’am.”

“I know, she’s been talking to me about it also.”  We both walk into Mama’s bedroom as she talks to Angie.

“I think I want some Chinese food with some Egg Fu Yung gravy,” Mama says.

“Mama, are you sure you can eat that?  Won’t your throat hurt?”  Angie asks.

“Girl, look, once I take that pain medicine I won’t feel too much of anything.”