The seizures have become more frequent. When
awake Marie seems to develop ability to half block.
We go to Medical I.C.U. Sign DNR paperwork.
11:30pm Phenobarb
@100mg in 20 minutes.
Afterthought:
. . . The seizures reached a point where the doctors were
afraid that they would cause a stroke or kill her. They decided to take Marie
to the medical Intensive Care Unit where they wanted to
give her 100mg of Phenobarbital in 20 minutes to try to stop the
seizures. This is very dangerous thing to try. It may stop the seizures but it
may also stop her breathing or heart. The doctors had me sign DNR paper work. Do
Not Resuscitate. I had to decide that if she died while they were
giving her the Phenobarbital to not try to revive her. This was by far the most
difficult thing I have ever had to face. How could I sign papers that would
keep the doctors from saving the woman I loved if she died.
I signed the papers and then sat by Marie’s side as they began the
Phenobarbital. It seemed like an eternity. The family had gathered and we
prepared for the worst. So with a lot of prayer Marie pulled through again.
Rick’s diary:
11/5/99
Things are beginning to run together. I’ve had very little
sleep. We just got back from CAT scan and they have also done an EEG. Marie is
not doing well at all.
I am VERY SCARED I am losing the woman I love.
Afterthought:
. . . I have never felt so helpless.
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overwhelming.
The last school yesterday had about 750 students. After the
program was over I can’t count how many students stayed behind to shake hands,
hug and talk about the impact my talking to them has had. This week I got four
standing ovations from the students. WOW! These young people have no idea that
by responding as they do they have a positive impact on my life, and the
circle goes unbroken. I am very proud to call so many of these young people my
friends. I had always been the type of person who only had a very small group
of close friends but now I am glad to say I have thousands of new close
friends.
Last year I started
to question the media about why they don’t report that 1,200 people die every
day in our country from a smoking related illness. They will not report it.
1,200 people died yesterday, 1,200 people died the day before and the day
before and 1,200 will die tomorrow and they will not report it. If ANY thing
else killed that many people every day it would be on CNN news, it would be on
every TV and radio station and on the front page of every news paper in this
country. WHY will they not report it? WHY?
I had a student tell me the other day that her (distant)
family grows tobacco. Her concern is, “if we put big tobacco out of business
what will happen to their farm?” I told her, “I have seen thousands of acres of
corn and soy beans growing and tobacco is not the only thing that will sprout
from dirt.” If her family makes a million dollars every year from growing tobacco
just how many lives is that worth? One, two. How many?
Who’s? Marie’s? Gary’s? Susan’s? Pauline’s?
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