Confuse Us Say
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
CONFUSE US SAY:
The writings of a
disORIENTed descendant of a
better known ancient Chinese philosopher.
MEN
Man
seeks "WIFE", liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness.
Never
under estimate a woman.
Never under dress to mate a woman.
Is
the need to promote safe sex and distribute rubbers a
"CONDOM NATION OF AMERICA"?
Woman
who testifies against a flasher is eligible for the
"WITNESS ERECTION PROGRAM".
If
you play grab ass with a girl and she doesn't
like it is it time for a "FRESH" approach?
If
you "PINCH" the wrong "CHEEKS" do you end up
chewing with "JUST YOUR GUMS"?
What
do you call a one night stand?
"HUMPTY DUMPTY".
What’s
the problem with penile implants?
Give a "MAN AN INCH" and he wants to take a mile.
As
far as penile implants are concerned
can't we all just get a "LONG"?
"I
KNOW" some "WILD THINGS" I wish
I had done "LAST SUMMER".
CONFUSE
US SAY:
HARD
Girl
who holds out for marriage and a new car
"DRIVES A HARD BARGAIN".
When
it comes to getting "HARD AS A ROCK"
man shouldn't take anything for "GRANITE".
Viagra
is a "GROWTH" industry.
Men are taking Viagra in "GROWING" numbers.
What
kind of men use Viagra?
The kind that are "HARD" to get a "LONG" with.
What
kind of men have trouble understanding the directions on the Viagra bottle?
Men with a "SHORT ATTENTION SPAN".
Viagra
does have drawbacks, especially when it wears off, this is known as
"VIAGRA FALLS".
This can be "VIAGRAVATING".
Why
is it difficult to prove how effective
Viagra is? "HARD EVIDENCE" keeps disappearing.
"HARD
LUCK": "VIAGRA" and the girlfriend with the year supply become
"HARD TO GET" at the same time.
Is
Viagra an example of "HARD DRUGS"?
Is
Viagra addictive?
No but it is a "HARD HABIT" to break.
If
you run out of Viagra what should you try?
"HARD LIQUOR", a good "STIFF" drink.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
The writings of a disORIENTED descendant of a better
known ancient Chinese philosopher.
The book has adult humor and clean jokes. For the men there is a large sports section covering
things like "NFL REALIGNMENT" and why men think "SEX IS A
SPORT". The book has drinking jokes like the "LITE BEER TEST". The men's section covers subjects like the
"MILITARY","STAR
TREK","NUDISTS","HOOKERS", "EXOTIC DANCERS",
and "BOOB JOBS".
The women's section covers things like "KNIGHTS
in shining armor", and takes a hard look at "VIAGRA". There are jokes about
"KIDS","PETS","FOOD", "ENTERTAINMENT"
and "BLONDES".
Examples:
Man who "PINCHES" the wrong
"CHEEKS" ends up chewing with just his "GUMS".
Girl who holds out for marriage and a new car "DRIVES"
a "HARD" bargain.
About the Author
Warren R. Kantner TSGT USAF retired. Twenty years of working with computers in the
military you need a sense of humor. After
thirty years of watching sports, casual drinking and listening to women complain
about men he was inspired to make some humorous observations.
He came up with a final solution for "NFL
REALIGNMENT" and he discovered why men think "SEX IS A SPORT".
He has created some new drinks and a "LITE BEER
TEST". He has also written jokes
about the "MILITARY","STAR TREK", "HOOKERS”, and
"BOOB JOBS". There is a women’s section with material about "KNIGHTS","VIAGRA","BLONDES"
and other jokes that women will actually like.