THE WOLF AT THE DOOR

We have now recognized the emotional impact of unemployment and are in the process, I hope, of taking steps to manage those destructive effects and activate ourselves towards the job search effort with a new attitude and a changed perspective.

We are going to continue to work on our mental processing but also move toward the "nuts and bolts" of looking for work.

Unemployment and the pressures of job hunting lie heavily on most of us.  We have become accustomed to defining who we are by what we do.  We have created a lifestyle which depends upon the regular flow of income from employment, a financial resource which sustains our dreams, our goals, our day to day responsibilities.

Beyond the income which employment provides, it performs addition­al functions in the fabric of our lives.  Our work often defines who we are. Our occupation is one of the first pieces of information people want to know about us; it helps them see what is important to us, what our values are, what kind of a person we are.  When we say, with pride or embarrassment: I am a carpenter, a waitress, an engineer, a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a clerk, we are telling the world a little bit about who we are, what is important to us, what we value, where our priorities lie, what counts.

Introduce yourself to someone new.  See how quickly your occupation is mentioned or asked about.  Our job title or trade anchors us, defines us, presents our priorities to the world.  It is a costume we take off and on, a comfortable role we have created for our­selves.

As someone without a job, in a world where most people we know work, you may feel something like a leper in olden times.  The self-satisfied, temporarily secure, good (working) citizens catch a glimpse of you and your condition and pass quickly to the other side of the road, calling out "unclean, unclean."

There will always be those who will avoid you because of your situation.  They may feel anxiety because they realize how their own status could so quickly change and put them in your shoes; most of us live three months away from total insolvency and fear confront­ing the notion of where a little bad luck and poor timing may put us.  There are only a few short weeks between our present lifestyle and living on the streets.  You are a constant reminder of their own financial mortality. There is also the guilt of surviving unscathed while others fall by the wayside.  To assuage the guilt, they rationalize that you've done something wrong:

            "I don't know what Bob's problem is.  He can never seem to hang onto a job for very long."

            "Jan should have seen it coming and done something earlier, I warned her."

            "I've always managed to find work; Hank must be doing something wrong."

There are many, however, who are willing to lend a helping hand, especially when you approach them with a positive attitude, clearly recognizing that finding work is your own responsibility and you just need a little help here and there.

Our first step will be to clarify your skills and abilities through personal data gathering in detail, and then to develop a picture of you on paper: your resume.  You will analyze your transferable skills and define your goals: where you want to go.  At the same time, you will be watching your thought patterns and mental maps to o