Naive

Nina dropped the paper and covered her face with shaky hands.  Her heart was beating faster and she could feel the sweat breaking out on her forehead and temples.  The frightening memories from long ago were taking over. She had the presence of mind to begin practicing the deep breathing exercises she’d been taught to overcome the panic attacks.  In deeply through the nose and hold, then out slowly through the mouth. After a few minutes she was able to unclench her fists which had been balled up so tightly that her fingernails had left deep, moon-shaped marks in the palms of her hands. 

            It took several minutes to calm herself enough to pick up the newspaper again.  She reluctantly went back to reading the haunting article. Feeling the shock of how quickly the many years had passed, she realized how unprepared she was to deal with the flood of emotions the newspaper article brought back.

            Nina heard her phone ringing in the kitchen.  She found that she had been staring at a woven diamond pattern on her living room rug.  Lost in her thoughts, she wondered how long the phone had been ringing before she had finally heard it.  Carefully navigating across the damp floor she reached the phone, anxious to stop the loud jangling. 

            “Hello,” she said with mild annoyance. 

            Immediately, Nina recognized a voice she had known for years.

            “Did you see today’s paper?” asked her friend.

            Knowing her friend wasn’t speaking in generalities Nina answered. “Yeah. I just read it.”

            “Can you believe it?  They might find out who did it. After all these years.”

            “Amazing.  After all these years,” Nina repeated needlessly.

            “Are you going to go? To the memorial service?”

            Nina had no answer.

            “Nina?  Are you there?”

            “What?  Yeah, I’m here.  What did you say?”

            “Are you going?  To the memorial service?” Again a long silence.I’m not sure. I