An Angel for Leonie

We drove home by way of the back road, where the road narrowed into two lanes, twisting and turning through wooded areas.  This was my favorite way home, because I could see ponds, horses, and old country homes.  My mother kept yawning, looking bored, before finally cranking the air conditioner to high.  “I just can’t stay awake,” she said.  “This has been a long day.”

I was tired, too, so I leaned back my seat and started to close my eyes.  Suddenly I saw a child move into our path on a bicycle.  There was no time for my mother to stop:  my mother screamed, slammed on the brakes, and veered into the opposite lane.

It happened quickly, and all I remembered was the screeching of brakes and feeling the car lurch down an embankment as tree branches scratched at the car like a million cat’s claws.

Suddenly I was in a dream, yet I wasn’t sure if I was awake.  Part of me was awake because I smelled blood.  My mother lay limp across the steering wheel, her head to one side.  Blood covered her face and when I saw her, I screamed. 

Then I saw the angel.

It didn’t have wings, but I knew it was an angel.  The light she released seemed brighter than the sun, yet I saw her clearly as I was bathed in her brightness.  She was tall, wore a lavender and gold dress, and her golden hair spilled over her shoulders like a waterfall.  Being alone in her presence made the hairs stand up on my arms.  Immediately she unbuckled my mother’s seatbelt, sweeping her into her arms and effortlessly laying her on the ground.  I watched, uncertain of my next move.  Finally, the angel motioned me to get out of the car so I struggled to unbuckle my own seatbelt.  But as soon as I stepped onto the ground the car wobbled, plunging five or six feet down the rest of the embankment.  It flipped on its side, pinning the driver’s side door against the ground.

When the angel came over to me, I was immediately drenched in the deepest love I had ever known.  Imagine being in the presence of God, where nothing but love exists – that’s what it was like being with the angel.  Although she didn’t speak to me with words, we communicated with our hearts and I knew she was there to save me and my mother.  Reaching out her hands, the angel touched my cheek, as she continued speaking to my heart.  “Love is the answer,” she said, and I saw sunshine burst through the sky as she spoke.  “Whatever happens to you, whatever you do in life, the answer is love.”

I wanted to stay in her presence forever.  Standing in the angel’s love gave me more faith than I ever imagined.  It was as if I was told there was more out there, and to keep searching for truth.  Being with the angel fed my soul in a way I never expected, and I thought about what she said – how the answer to everything is love.

Then, before I knew what was happening, I was pulled from the warm glow of love back to reality – earth – and my angel disappeared.  As many times as I called out to her, there wasn’t an answer so I sat near my mother and cried.

Soon there were sirens and an ambulance arrived.  Gradually, many people surrounded me.  I didn’t think to ask about the child on the bike.  I just wanted my mother to be okay.  A red-faced EMT loaded my mother onto a stretcher, as he reassured me everything would be fine.  Even though my mother wasn’t moving, he said, didn’t mean she wasn’t alive.  Then a lady and a man laid me on a stretcher, but I knew I was all right and didn’t need to go to the hospital.  The only reason for going to the hospital now was to be with my mother.

As we rode to the hospital, I thought about the angel again.  The love I felt from the angel seemed as necessary to life as oxygen, but now it was gone.  How could I get it back?  It was real, tangible, and now I had lost it forever.  Before the angel, I had never experienced that sort of love and was ignorant of its existence.  Now, I had tasted the love and I longed for it.  Yearned for it.  I craved it.

How do you get the feeling back?  Lying in the ambulance, watching the technicians work quickly with my mother, seeing tubes and needles and smelling the sickly scent of rubbing alcohol, made me want the angel all the more.  How can something beautiful come into my life like that, only to leave?  “It isn’t fair,” I told God as the ambulance raced up and down the winding road.

The answer wasn’t what I expected.  For a fleeting moment, I felt a gentle brushing across my cheek and the scent of roses saturating the air.  I quickly looked around to see if anyone else noticed.  I think the red-faced EMT noticed something, because he took a deep breath and whispered something to another technician, who shook her head.

I wanted to ask them if they smelled roses, too, but it seemed like such a dumb thing to ask so I closed my eyes and waited for the ride to be over, dreaming all the while about the angel whose face reflected a million shades of love.