Parenting College Freshmen: Consulting For Adulthood
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Consulting on attaining adulthood
It is important at this time to make a major shift from a more traditional approach of parenting college students by facilitating separation to a more modern concept of consulting with them on attaining adulthood. You will want to draw on your own knowledge to assist your student in developing his/her intellectual, financial and interpersonal skills during the college years. Although you may want to become familiar with the college resources that are available to your student (see Appendix A – College Services), offer them such information only at their request. It is important to shift from arranging all the details or fixing every problem for your students to consulting with them and allowing them to effect their own outcomes and solve their own problems. Whether it is writing a paper for a course, mediating with a roommate or paying for parking tickets, it is critically important to your student’s confidence and self worth that he acts on his own behalf. If you intervene and manage his life, you are not only inhibiting his development but also insulting him by letting him know that you don’t think he can handle his own life. So before you pick up the phone or write that letter, stop and read this book.
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About the Book
Old methods of parenting college freshman don’t fit a new generation of parents and students. Parents today are no longer willing to just "let go" and want a model of parenting which allows them to stay attached but nurture their student’s eventual independence. Today’s parents have been soccer moms and little league coach dads who want to stay involved in the lives of their 18 year olds even when they are in residence at colleges several hours away from home.
This book gives the guidelines for a new college parent student model – consultation. Parents of today are experts on adulthood and have many skills and much information to offer their students. This book provides a working, consulting model for students who are dealing with all the new challenges that college offers – roommates, loneliness, academics, time management, stress, college social life and more. The voices of this book include students and professionals. Not only does this book offer good advice about college life for students but it also provides parents with ways to communicate this information. Make the freshman year the best by being a prepared parent.
About the Author
Linda Bips, psychologist, is a specialist in the transition issues of college students and their families. As the Director of Counseling and faculty at Muhlenberg College and psychologist for the Fall 2001 Semester at Sea program, she has worked with 100’s of students. Personally, she has provided guidance and counsel for her two daughters, co-authors Jessica, a 1998 graduate of Muhlenberg College, and Kristina, a 2002 graduate of the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Bips has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and her work has been featured in USA Today, Seventeen, and Mademoiselle. Through her speaking, writing, teaching, and consulting, Dr. Bips has been able to help hundreds of families and students make an optimal transition to college life.